#24 (helping out)

[posteverything]

My mom wants to totally re-do the living room so she asked if I'd bring Dad home with me to take care of him for the next couple of weeks.

He's now hanging out in an urn in my living room.

[mp3] the monkees - pleasant valley sunday

Comments

[molasses]

oh dear.

my mothers ashes were set to sea unceremoniously, and though I'm happy they're not in an urn in my living room, I wish I'd had more to do with their/her dispersal.

[posteverything]

As I see it dear you should have had the most valid opinion as to how you'd like to see it all end. Being the daughter I couldn't think of anything more fair.

I'm glad that I was pretty much calling the shots when my dad died. It was extremely difficult and there were many, many moments to where I thought I couldn't handle it, but I did, and thank the Great Spirit for it, too.

[molasses]

we, my sister and I, deferred to my dad, and he was so thin, almost transparent with shock.
we probably were, too.

at the end of the day, I believe we did ok and the best we could and holyhatbasket, we loved our mum.

[posteverything]

When we get older we've built up a certain tolerance with accepting the inevitable, but they don't have the strength to deal with it like the younger folks do. And maybe "strength" isn't the right word I'm looking for, but you know, we still have that corner of naiteve and that urge to prove ourselves.

[sarahrae]

the akward usually ends up having a profound effect on us in retrospect.

[posteverything]

Hindsight being 20/20 and all that.. :/

[andreamarie]

My sister and I were discussing urns the other day... my abuelo was cremated and his ashes are still in the box that they came home in... a cardboardish box, I suppose. We want to buy a proper urn for him.

[posteverything]

I don't know what the urn business is like these days but back in '02 it was hard to find an urn that looked cool. Eventually we settled on this purple one with an Asian motif, which is okay and all but I always figured we could've done better.

The Internet might produce some better results as far as aesthetics would be concerned..

[andreamarie]

We want to get something and have it engraved. I've surfed around a little bit and have seen some nice options.

[posteverything]

And I keep looking at the urn I keep wondering, he never really liked the world anyway and he always liked old Twilight Zone episodes so I wonder how he'd feel about his ashes being shot out into space like they did to the guy who created Star Trek. They seriously do it but it's very expensive, like $50,000.

[aspiring2live]

Interesting. She could have put him in another room, but she asked you. I wonder why? I wonder if this was an innocuous attempt to pass his ashes to you? No fanfare, and hopefully without causing deep emotional stirrings in you. If so, I doubt it works. I totally agree with what sarahrae said.

I have never even seen anyone's ashes before, much less anyone close to me. Just thinking about it, though, I know it would be a profound experience for me.

[posteverything]

You know, I've been wondering about that too, with the passing of these ashes. My Mom works in odd ways sometimes and it's entirely possible she'll just conveniently "forget" about the situation if I don't say anything.

And that'd probably be best for everyone involved. It's become a source of somewhat major contention between her and her new husband. It's kind of pathetic how he can be so jealous of a dead man, but I probably shouldn't go there. :)

[dusty_chenille]

Dear, I can only imagine how that feels.
Thinking of you.

[posteverything]

I'm okay, honey, but thank you.

It's just weird.