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Tonight you sparkled
and looked so naïve.
Tonight you glowed
and your aura exploded.
Tonight you brought light
to the eyes of almost-three-year-olds.
And for all the jokes,
all the put-downs
and slights,
all the times I made you feel
second best,
when you looked at me
through the crowd
and we shared a private look
I was just so
PROUD
to be your

What I seem to be lacking
is that pull.
You know the one,
it draws you
like a magnet
towards him
and you need to touch him
and stay near him
and get his attention.

I feel stretched
over continents,
over boundaries
I shouldn't have to face.
His thin lips,
his blue eyes,
and his boyish smile
cannot carry me much longer.
I need contact.

The conundrum that is winter formal has been solved ( Read more... )

The fear is
very real.
An avoided
and denied
reality
was realized
that one night.
Exhaustion and giddy joy
were its parents
and for a frightening moment
I cared too much.

If I am so easily swayed
by natural circumstances
I fear the consequences
of stronger things.

So that's why.
That's why you seemed
so clear
and somehow
so distant.

I shied away from saying
love
and so did the red one
but you declared
and held my hand
and made empty promises.

You did everything right
nothing you said was wrong
as if you had rehearsed
and now I know
you did.
Thanks for shaking my self esteem
in your stupid black polo.

Grasping ( Read more... )

We're very similar.
His young, wise, and perfect love
forces me into corners
on to bathroom floors
crying in the dark.
And still it is his
imagined affections
rocking me into comfort
into salvation
that can dam up the
rivers of my eyes.

I hate mature realizations. I like the world of fantasy that I create for myself and I don't like to admit that it's not healthy. I've been pretty all around miserable though since last night and I think he's part of it. Damn. Stupid Anne-Marie.

Ok so you know it's a crazy weird day when at the end of it, you find yourself driving around down town at 10:00 wearing a professional chef's hat and listening to Boys Don't Cry by the Cure over and over again ( Read more... )