Fic: "Thieves and Beggars"

[penknife]

Title: Thieves and Beggars
Author: penknife
Pairing/characters: Jack/the Brethren Court (various pairings, slash and het)
Rating: R
Summary: Jack's collecting pirate lords.
Disclaimer: Disney owns them, not me.
Author's Note: Crackfic, sort of, although with Jack you never know.

Comments

[justawench]

So wonderful! So perfectly Jack, too.

There was humor and seriousness and best of all, imperfect sex. They didn't all fawn over him and it wasn't all fireworks and shooting stars. Thanks for this!

[penknife]

Thanks so much! And, yes, this is not the story of how all the pirate lords adore Jack Sparrow and worship his sexual prowess. The story Jack tells about these events is probably the story of how all the pirate lords adore Jack Sparrow and worship his sexual prowess, but that's a different matter.

[justawench]

I made this picture for p0wdermonkey, for a story yet-unwritten, but it's too coincidental not to share. It fits in with Mei dress him up in her clothes,

http://pics.livejournal.com/justawench/pic/0015zdka

Seems everyone has the same idea what the "great insult" consisted of!

[penknife]

Oh, gorgeous! Jack is so pretty.

[stickyslash]

I really enjoyed the fact that you didn't make ALL the pirate lords bisexual/omnisexual, despite the fact that they're all vagabonds and outside the rules of society. It often bothers me that authors ignore the statistics and just make everyone sexually compatible in fanfiction, except where it fits the plot for it to be otherwise. It's refreshing to see a little touch of reality (just a little, though...of course fanfiction is supposed to be an ESCAPE from reality). Plus the fact that you put a reason behind the abundance of sexual freedom(Jack wonders if, against all probability, he has found a second pirate lord who is constitutionally immune to his charms, or if Villanueva is just this sour by nature). And, of course, as always this is a spectacular, essence-of-Jack story. Lovely! Thank you!

[penknife]

Thank you! It's easier to write "everyone's had sex with men" with the PotC pirates than it is in many fandoms (without it getting too silly) -- living in an environment with very few women and very few rules leads to a lot of situational bisexuality. But that doesn't mean it's everyone's preference (or that Jack is to everyone's taste.)

[torn_eledhwen]

Heheh. I liked this a lot - and it made it better that he wasn't entirely successful in the strictest sense. :)

[penknife]

Thank you! Jack can't win them all, except in his own version of this tale, which is probably more flattering to him but considerably less based in reality.

[imogenelovelace]

This was great! Jack is so very... Jack. I love the idea of his collection, and how it all started with needing to impress Barbossa.

[penknife]

Thank you!

[p0wdermonkey]

I'm grinning all over my face. Can tell I'll need to read that again, watch the Brethren Court scene again, giggling, and then read AGAIN!

I'm not sure it's possible to write Jackcrack: I take every word of your story seriously as true Jack history. Hard to pick a favourite line but I loved:
He can't be expected to make allowances for peculiar tastes that do not include his self.
I adore Jack's insistence that failure is success if you only tell yourself you're winning. And his completely screwed (skewed? I meant skewed, but now I think about it, screwed is better) priorities.
The Barbossa opening is perfect. Think it may become my canon for how those two met. The two Frenchmen are hilarious and the interlude with Jocard unexpectedly poignant.
Good thing Teague doesn't seem to be a Pirate Lord these days...

[p0wdermonkey]

"I know you," he remembers saying brightly, well along into the proceedings. "You're a pirate lord."
It's the "brightly" that really gets me, and that he remembers he said it brightly. Dear Jack!

[penknife]

I don't think Jack gets really trashed as often as you'd think, if only because he's all too aware that past a certain value of drunk, he's likely to do and say anything.

[penknife]

Thank you! I don't think I really think that Jack has slept with all of the pirate lords; on the other hand, I can't say it's particularly improbable for Jack to have slept with any particular pirate lord. And you never know.

I adore Jack's insistence that failure is success if you only tell yourself you're winning.

That seems to me to be one of Jack's basic character traits.

Good thing Teague doesn't seem to be a Pirate Lord these days...

Jack does draw a line somewhere. (Although if Elizabeth wants to better his total ...)