Maeve/Fey

[potcsues]

Every single day I find new and different levels of suckitude. This also happens to be Sue #55 (...yay?). Why I didn't say anything at 50... I really have no idea.

TITLE: The Gypsy Queen
CULPRIT: Loony Lemon Curry
SUMMARY: "There are two big pirate captains left in the Spanish Main, Captain Jack Sparrow and The Gypsy, Captain of the pirate vessel

Comments

[bordergold]

I like how the blouse bellows

Something like:

"I am dumb as a door," said GypsySue.
"ROAR!" bellowed her blouse.

[juniper200]

"Sex was already in the conversation. The conversation was sex." So how many times has the word "sex" been said so far in this fic? Do you think perhaps the author wishes us to know that there is some measure of sexual tension between this Sue and Jack?

Not only is the word repeated too often, it's a terrible anachronism. According to the OED, second edition, volume XV, the first recorded use of the word sex in the "sexual intercourse" sense was in 1929, when D.H. Lawrence wrote: "If you want to have sex, you've got to trust At the core of your heart, the other creature." Although the definition had no doubt been in use for years prior to that, it certainly wouldn't stretch back as far as the 1700s. At that time, the word "sex" referred to gender exclusively, i.e., "the fairer sex."

Okay, that was very geeky. But it's a mistake that appears in goodfic as often as in badfic, and I think it should stop. This post is my line in the sand. :)

[potcsues]

I was positive that the word "sex" should never be used for sexual intercourse in stories set in the medieval time period, but I wasn't entirely certain when it did come into use to mean such.

I'm glad that you guys are here to catch this stuff in the instances that I'm too lazy to I don't have time to fact-check. Because I never nitpick before I fact-check.

[mylla]

I'm absolutely certain that she, as a pirate captain, had all the time in the world to care for fucking waist-length curly hair! Are these Suethors all bald or just completely lacking the ability to think practically?

To be fair, they've got a rotten example in Miss Swann herself. My hair's not half the length of Elizabeth's, and it most certainly doesn't look that good after however-many days un-cared for and drenched in salt water. :p

That, of course, being one of the charms of the movie. The problem is that the Suethors have believed the myth.

You know, I was also going to say that the dialogue actually wasn't so bad, what with this:

'Sarah! That's the one!'

which seems fairly in-character at least, even if we are over-using the whole slapping thing... but then I got up to the "witty" exchange between Jack and the Sue. During which my face got sore from my slapping it repeatedly.

[potcsues]

To be fair, they've got a rotten example in Miss Swann herself. My hair's not half the length of Elizabeth's, and it most certainly doesn't look that good after however-many days un-cared for and drenched in salt water. :p

You know, that is fair.

Whenever I consider fanfiction in my mind (especially movie fanfiction) I automatically assume that it going to fix things that weren't realistic for purely aesthetic reasons. Mostly because it's usually easy enough to ignore on screen, but somehow seems harder for me to ignore in a story. Since for me to know it in a story, you have to have stated it, thus bringing to the center of my attention.

I suppose that might be asking a little too much. But still... waist-length, curly hair? As a former bearer of long, textured hair, all that jumps into my mind when I read that is how much of a horror it would be to keep nice, much less falling in loose ringlets while living a rough life at sea.

[mylla]

Yes, I agree with you - text shouldn't really need to do anything for aesthetic reasons. You don't fall in love with literary characters because they're described as good-looking. You form your own mental picture based on the way they think and act. Well, at least, that's how I've always dealt with literary characters in my mind.

Besides, POTC is the kind of movie that doesn't try to be realistic in certain things. You know, like the screenwriters kept on saying in the commentary - they weren't making a documentary! And because it's a movie that's conscious of itself in that way, it's part of what makes it funny.

My point being that it would be possible to pull that kind of self-awareness off in fanfic as well and get away with things being unrealistic - but it'd have to be written very well.

[lots42]

Heh, maybe her crew didn't mutiny. They probably left in the lifeboats when her hair got in her face again and she tripped and fell on the poop deck.

[niav]

"Have you ever done it in a crows nest?"
... how would that even work, exactly?

[sharkcowsheep]

Awkwardly. Roomy they ain't. In fact, I can damn near guarantee that one party or the other would fall to their death upon attempting such a thing. But that would be fine, no?

[niav]

If said party falling to their death was the Sue, that'd be fantastic!

[starvingartist3]

(A/N, it's supposed to be spelled like that, she's got an Irish accent, remember?)"

And an atrocious one at that.

whores thrusting their cleavage invitingly at men, and threateningly at other women

So, is that like when apes bang their chests and growl and stuff?

Yes. And then the whores fling their own feces at them as well.

*facepalms* It hurts so bad...

[ganeris]

Hey! Where can I learn to thrust my cleavage threateningly? It seems like a useful skill.

[starvingartist3]

1600 Century Whore Academy. I'm heading there as well; cleavage that you can just stick out threateningly makes for terrific conversation on those long bus rides home.