Anna Cunnington

[potcsues]

Here's the second Sue I promised. Forgive me.

TITLE: In the Life of Anna Cunnington
CULPRIT: Agey Again.
SUMMARY: "Penniless Anna Cunnington lives on the streets of Port Royal. In the midst of her days on the streets and corners, she has experienced much. But something unexpected happens to Anna. She is engulfed in a life of piracy and love.

Comments

[meepalicious]

and on that historically inaccurate sidenote, anyone who's living "penniless" would not be able to afford either a corset (seeing as they'd have to be doing something to keep alive, and you can't do much in a corset besides try & breathe), or purple fabric. x_X Arg.

[thekow]

I couldn't finish reading. I'm laughing too hard.

[misachan]

Arg! She made Jack say "ye"! Numerous times! I twitch every time I see that in a line of Jack's dialouge. Barbosa talks like that, not Jack. Jack almost always uses "you".

Why would Norrington assume the Sue is a gypsy? Was there a big gypsy population in Jamaica?

[windsong_moon]

Ugh- I hate when they have Jack talking like a whore mongering hobo who's had one too many teeth knocked out. It's pure disgusting. Bleh.

And Jack Romances- they make me mad unless the author shows me the inner working of the mind (I like to know WHY a character is doing what they are doing).

Ahem.

But this is just bad. Agey should be duct taped and thrown off of some pier on the Hudson.

[caribbeansues]

*snickers* Your mom's my hero.

"Inquire the question"...
**Coughpointlessuseofwordscough**

Sorry, that was one of the main things that popped out at me. As well as some others, but...

Must she have kept repeating 'the love i'll never have'? Dammit >.< it's a wansty!Sue!!

About the not saying said thing... not too long ago I tried to challenge myself with not saying said throughout the entire fic... It worked too ^___^
...though... it was only a one-shot.

[potcsues]

I pointed it out as an amateur mistake basically because most authors/editors/etc. will tell you that trying to use every word crazy synonym for speaking but said to attribute dialogue eventually becomes distracting to the reader, drawing attention away from the dialogue. Whereas he said/she said is so natural as to be almost invisible. Therefore, it doesn't interrupt the flow of the story.

I'm good buddies with the word "said" and his close cousins "replied" and "responded".

[caribbeansues]

Lol ^_^;; as am I. I just throwing in other random words so it doesnt get old... with the exception of the one fic (I'm actually quite proud of the fact that I did it O_o;;)

[alyza]

"I hastily rejoinder."

Oh, ye Gods. You're right... sounds like this person really did go through the dictionary and plucked out words at random. Eesh.