Should it be that I, in no small way, have found myself in a quandry, a situation wrought by myself and the wildy schizophrenic synapses which fire around inside my head much like a small time warlord with an itchy trigger finger and a penchant for self pity. Mired in my own doubts and bi-polarity, as much use as a cardboard belt in a monsoon. My ( Read more... )

In 1946 a 39 year old bakers assistant from Lowestoft, unable to face an unsatisfying life in the notoriously violent and underhanded bread trade, or ‘the bunny cobbles’ as it is known to those in the shrouded world of the granary circle, decided to invent a new profession, one at which he and he alone would excel. That man was Archibald Tuttle, ( Read more... )

Just when you think you have all the answers, I go and change the questions ( Read more... )

I love the smell of Steven Seagal's back pack ( Read more... )

"My Pet Dinosaur" - Next Tuesday at 9 on BBC2. It is pretty safe to say that Horizon are scraping the barrel a bit with this one. The advert states, 'new questions, new answers'. What if the meteor which wiped out the dinosaurs had missed? This is the question that apparently NEEDS answering. For a start it's less of a question and more of a ( Read more... )

What is the most important aspect in correctly appreciating and understanding a film? Knowing that you can comfortably reccomend a film to a friend or loved one without losing face as your choice is revealed to be deceptively trite, cliched or simply 'run of the mill'. The answer is a simple one. The second viewing ( Read more... )

Don't you just hate it when you get up to go to work and it's raining outside. A trite observation maybe, but a true one. However, it gets worse. The rain stops and you think "PHEW, I just avoided a mild to severe drenching there". Then you leave the house and the sun is shining, the birds are singing and old men are staring wistfully at small ( Read more... )

And out of the darkness we emerge, bleary eyed and weary into the light. A fresh dawn, a beacon of hope to fill even the most jaded and downtrodden with an ebullience to lift them from their knees, ready to embark on this new journey with a healthy air of the sanguine. Hardships forgotten, transgressions forgiven and the world at peace for that one ( Read more... )

Thursday night television is a lost cause. It's a fact. Sure a documentary on Prince Eddie (could have been connected to Jack the Ripper, probably wasn't) kept me entertained but apart from that it's a relative graveyard for the entertainment form. It was this lack of edifying entertainment which led to me sitting on my bedroom floor, idly flicking ( Read more... )

Oh well, oh well, oh well, Ladies and Gentlemen don't we live in exciting times? Looks like we got ourselves a good old fashioned serial killer. Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "why Smith you 'orrible bastard, thats not exciting. Far from it, that is in fact disturbing and deeply saddening for the families of those poor young women ( Read more... )