So apparently I blame myself for my mother's death ( Read more... )

It is important to remember through all of this that a very large part of loving myself is learning to pick myself up and dust myself off and keep going. I have to always remember that it is better for me in the long run if I self-soothe, then get up and do it all over again. Every 24 hours you get a whole new chance. So today didn't go quite as ( Read more... )

sonething will go wrong, and I will embark on a quick journey to the magical land of self-hate. That is something I'm trying to avoid. It seems to be caused by either (1) my plans not working out the way I wanted them to ("I didn't plan well enough so I'm stupid"), (2) the house isn't clean and organized ("I'm so lazy, why can't I take care of ( Read more... )

As I'm sitting here, listening to a one-hit wonder, I can't help but think about changes. I just put as my facebook status that I am NOT the same person I was 10 years ago ... I know people grow and mature, but still. I've been through a lot of changes over the years, a lot of problems and a lot of blessings. I know what I don't want more than ( Read more... )

I went to church again for the first time in about 9 months, maybe a little less. I tried out the Northshore Unitarian Universalist Church in Danvers. The service is half an hour later than First Parish in Beverly (where I was going before), and it's only 10 minutes away as opposed to FP's 25. We got there a little late, but it was no big deal ( Read more... )

I've been meaning to update my journal since I got internet - granted, that was the other day, but still. I have internet at school, so there's no excuse. But I have a shiny new computer that I can write music on, and Comcast internet ... might as well put them to good use ( Read more... )

"A professor stands in front of a philosophy class. He produces a large mayo jar. He fills it with golf balls, then asks the class if it is full; they say yes. He then proceeds to add pebbles to the jar, filling it more. Is it full? The class says it is. He then adds sand to the jar, filling in the spaces. the class again agrees that it is full. ( Read more... )

Totalled car by an old bag who shouldn't be driving anyway. Dealing with the stupid insurance company. having no money - gas or meds? Can't decide which. Emotional shit with exes - Scott ("I want to have a kid with you" ... "I have trust issues with you and don't want a relationship right now"), Jimmy (yes, I'm talking to him again ... he's the ( Read more... )

I've been in Beverly all day, taking care of business. I got the car registered at the RMV (I only had to wait 5 minutes or so, and my person was really nice ... unheard of), went to Walgreens at Rantoul and Elliott, now here I am at the Beverly Public Library taking care of some internet business. I've been here at the library since about 11:00 ( Read more... )

Yeah, so the exes are coming out of the woodwork, with the accompanying emotional turbulence. I just deleted the link from my vampirefreaks to my livejournal, so hopefully that will cure some of it.

( Saving your friends page. Click at your own risk. No lifeguard on duty. )