If you never had to deal with judgment
Whether from parents or friends
Tell me, would you be with me?

If you never had to explain our history
How we met and the things I did
Tell me, would you be with me?

If there existed a secret place
Where no one mattered, just you and me
Tell me, would you be with me?

I know how impossible it all is
But some nights are ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel so angry at myself for not getting over you. Sometimes I think that maybe I am over you. But then I'll look at your facebook and feel sick to my stomach when I still see the words "in a relationship." I'm angry that my reaction to those words hasn't changed. The only thing that has changed is that I've forced myself to look less ( Read more... )

I got my first injection of testosterone today. Shit is about to get very interesting. But I'm so fucking excited.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

I'm tired of dwelling on the things from the past that I've lost. I'm tired of floating through life feeling half dead waiting for something, anything, to give me a sense of purpose. I'm just tired. Within two weeks, I'll be on testosterone. Maybe even less than two weeks depending on how long the doctor takes to get back to me about my lab results ( Read more... )

I don't know what I'm waiting for anymore. I'm just floating through each day. I feel like everything was put on hold after my grandma died. Like a goddamn bomb dropped and the ringing is just now starting to fade from my ears.

Less than a month before my grandma died, I finally qualified for health insurance through the program that paid me to be ( Read more... )

Daylight savings time is starting. Your favorite time of the year. How could I not be thinking about you. Time is moving forward. The same way that you have. The same way that I should. But mostly I just feel that I'm standing still. Sometimes I can't help but laugh at how sentimental I've become. But I guess the problem of knowing someone too well ( Read more... )

It's hard to believe that I haven't heard her voice in 4 months. It's hard to believe that nothing has changed. Except that maybe I don't rush to look at my phone anymore when someone calls or texts me. I know it won't be her. But when I do look, I still feel a sense of disappointment every time. I know a part of me is still waiting. Waiting for ( Read more... )

It's not really true that things get better with time. I always hoped it was true. Every day I hedged all my bets on the hope that tomorrow would be a better day if I could just make it through today. A lie I told myself in the name of self-preservation. But time isn't linear when your memory is constantly taking you backwards. A time machine that ( Read more... )

Sometimes when I'm driving
Or sitting in class
Or trying to fall asleep
I'm struck with the disbelief
That this is the way it is
You live your life
I live mine
Parallel lines that won't intersect
And god I pray that they will
But I know they won't
Not in the way that I hope
For so long it was just us
You were the one I'd cry to
I was the one you'd complain to
( Read more... )

I've run out of things to say. Nothing I say can bring the ones I love back to me. Whether through death or circumstance, they're gone. This is the natural course of things. This is the way life works. I know this, but how well do I, or anyone, really know this? I'm waiting for some sign that everything will be okay. That there are still reasons to ( Read more... )