Today was boring and sucky. Freshmen went to an assembly first period but other then that nothing happened. I talked to Eric a little bit at school about KC. Band was kinda fun. World History I felt worse. I sat with Jessica on the bus. Went home ate a hot dog and wentdown stairs with the intentions to cut. I called Eric first cuz I wanted to talk ( Read more... )

Today was boring and kind of sucked. I was wicked tired and i was totally numb. So gym we played tennis and I totally sucked. I just wanted to colasps. I couldn't feel my legs and I was just blah. Lunch Eric and Dustin weren't there and nothing really happened. I did actually eat somthing. Which I kinda wish I didn't now since I just now gorged ( Read more... )

Today is so boring. I woke up at 9:30 and my mom dragged me to a stupid pancake breakfest. I really didn't want to eat anything but of course I had to since my mom was there. She made me go on a stupid hayride and she made me go with my little brother into a stupid cornmaze. We went home and got there at noon. I took a shower finished my math ( Read more... )

Me and chelsey hung out and stuff and had a nice conversation and hung out with the family for the morning it was nice. I went home and took a shower and stuff cuz me and chelsey were going to the mall. Then Jordan showed up at chelseys so we brought him along to. We found Jessica there that was cool. We played alot of DDR and went to hot topic. We ( Read more... )

Ok so school was okay. I was proud of myself, i finally can hit the tennis ball and I can serve pretty well. And algebra was halarious. Then Lunch was the same. pretty funny. Walked back up and went to band. After band when we were in the insterment closet thingy Jordan was pissing me off! I wanted to kill him. He kept trying to kiss me and shit ( Read more... )

Today went pretty good. Gym was funny and I finally hit the ball over the net!! The wrong net but it went over! yay! I really suck at sports I can't hit the ball if  my life depended on it. oh well. I have to band jackets. Which is odd. but oh well now I have 2. I stayed after for my detention and flute sectional which was fine. and i was hanging ( Read more... )

Ok today was rough! I was depressed and blah from last night. I am talking to Eric right now about it. And I feel bad cuz him and his brother were fighting after school cuz of me. Sean was trying to be nice and Eric doesn't know what to do about "everything" and everything is he doesn't know what to do about his boredom or me. so yea I didn't ( Read more... )

Wow Eric was just online and i literally stopped breathing. Alana asked him for me if he hacked up her arm and right when she said she'd ask. i burst into tears and start bawling my eyes out. I want someone hear to hold me. I need to cut so bad or just die. Make this pain stop please!

THE ULTIMATE SILENCE
October 12, 1998


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Wow today was rough! Before homeroom on the way up I just said to Eric, your gonna be mad at me. he says I already am like he knew all along that i cut over the weekend. As we stand there in akward silence and I turn to walk away he's like we'll talk about this later. So I went through the whole day nervous of what would happen. I hung out with ( Read more... )