today was one of those days where i saw/read one of the most horrific things, and it left me disturbed. its not even that it was graphic, it just left me with this feeling in the pit of my stomach, that made me feel so helpless and awful that i wanted to just cry. and it made me realize that everyone should see this, not beacause i want you to feel ( Read more... )

so on friday i spent the night drinking by myself and i got pretty shitfaced. i woke up on saturday with the most awful hangover. i spent most of the day in the bathroom =( ew..... but then around 8 bill and i started to get ready. mostly everyone bailed out just like i expected. we got lost in newark and couldnt find the club and when we finally ( Read more... )

alrighty its been way too long for this. i got fired from Panera's cause they accused me of stealing one fuckin dollar from the donation box and i pretty much told them to go fuck themselves. ( no i didnt do it) my mom and i havent spoken to each other since the week before mothers day and every time i see her its like WWIII. billy and i are moving ( Read more... )

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so work today SUCKED ASS. this woman came in looking for this new nail color, so i went in the back and looked for it but my manager told me that i wasnt allowed to put it out cause it wasnt scanning properly. so i went out and told the woman what i was told and she started bitching. i was real nice and all telling her that i was only following ( Read more... )

Dizzy

Blasphemous ecstacy engulfs my acid soul.

Drink my blood drop song

and have some fair candle wine.

Let it burn your tounge.

Consume me in your silk thread kisses,

so I can feel alive again.

Where did you go,

when you left me for something beautiful?

i learned something really important today. you never really know someone until they fuck you; and i mean that in every sense of the word. bonnie and steph have lied to me. in a way everyone did. knowing how much i fuckin hate sandi, they visited her when she was up for christmas. its not even that they went. its the fact that i was lied to and ( Read more... )

today im supposed to go to eric's show but bryan never called me back and yvonnes car is stuck at sears for the next hour. i bought the most amazing gown at victoria's today and i absolutely cannot wait for billy to come home so i can show it off.. =) for $68 he better fuckin love it too. i started putting together the package im gonna send him ( Read more... )

when i talked to billy today he seemed in a much better mood than last nite. i got a letter from him today and i got all teary-eyed cause he wrote in it that i was his dream girl and that id be in his heart forever. =) anyways, i told him that i felt real bad for yelling at him on the phone yesterday and he was told me that everything would be fine ( Read more... )