Yes, I am back at school. And now I have to worry about time and work and all that jazz. SHIT THE SCHOOL SUCKS, I have to change my password again!!! so that i can get my email, fucking shit motherfucker. My mom is still a bitch, she was like "I am a good mother, I dont know why you hate me so much, that school has made you hate me more" and I said ( Read more... )

The Plague has finally subsided. I am no longer sick and neither are anymore of my friends. IF ANY OF YOU AT SnM GET SICK AND COME NEAR ME, I AM GOING TO CUT YOUR FUCKIN HEAD OFF WITH A MACHETE. Ok I am lying, I only pretend to be violent. My past is haunting me, I can't escape her, she fucking creeps into my life like a damn virus that never goes ( Read more... )

Senior meeting in a few, I feel like shit. It would be nice to have some weed even though my throat aches and I am coughing like a madwoman. Madwoman haha what a silly term. I think I might be dillusional. Hannah was talking in her sleep last night again, she asked me three questions that were just extremely weird but I cant remember what they were ( Read more... )

Today I was thinking and I realized that I am not living life as I want to. I am following the structured rules of my parents, my friends, and this school. I am not even close to the person I want to be therefore I am not living my life freely. To be honest I feel tied down by all these restrictions. I hate the rules of dating, monogamy and showing ( Read more... )

My B-day Tuesday July 14, 1987 ( Read more... )

Today I realized that I have too much free time. Maybe it's because this week has been going by slowly, I dont know and time seems to sluggishly move forward. For my free time I either sleep, eat, or do work, not very exciting. I miss the good ole days when I used to be a rebel and sneak off campus and such. I miss the adrenal rush of the ( Read more... )

As a kid I remember making up ghost stories that would not only scare my listeners but scare me as well. My stories became real and lived a certain life of their own, breathing and conveying my thoughts through letters jumbled together which formed words, sentences, paragraphs. I have horrible grammar skills, but I still continue to write. I write ( Read more... )

Even though I fucked up that friendship, I don't feel bad anymore. I could careless about such an apathetic person. His indifference intrigued me yet bored me. Therefore I can't allow myself to care for a person who is unresponsive and shows little feeling to-wards everything. I had an epiphany tonight, unfortunately there is no way to solve my ( Read more... )

I think I just screwed up my friendship with the only guy (thats not gay) here at S&M. I deserve to feel wretched and to hate myself. I deserve to be rejected. I want to cry but the tears just wont come. They are there waiting, on the verge to stream but I can't allow myself to let them fall. I feel so ashamed. I can't believe that I would think ( Read more... )

I am sorry about having to make some of my entries friends only, but because people feel that I share too much, and I am pissing them off, I guess I have no choice but to share my feelings with only my friends. Also I want these people to continue being pissed and always wondering what the hell I am posting about them. I hope they can't sleep at ( Read more... )