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what to do...
i have been on this new process in my life right now. i know i am falling into a depression of sorts. i do not think that it is a total depression but it is a depression that is coming to me really slowly. i can feel it. i am still contemplating going and see my counselor again. but am not sure on what to do. i had an ok experience with her. but ( Read more... ) -
roller coaster...
that is what i feel like. i feel like one huge roller coaster. sometimes i am happy where i am way at the top and just in an instant just like taht i fall down and am down at the bottom of the roller coaster. my emotions are so mixed up right now. happy one minute the next crazy and the next so sad that i am crying ( Read more... ) -
spring break among other things
well i am not sure on how i am feeling right now. a lot of things have been happening. i have been wanting something. i need soemthing. i am just feeling so stressed out or something. i feel like everything is blowing up inside of me. oh well. hopefully since i have a week off for the vacation maybe things my way will go better. i know i am not ( Read more... ) -
one month...
today has been a month for my papa. i am not sure what i am feeling right now. the only thing i can really say about it is that i miss him so much. i really do. the nightmares are becoming less frequent but none the less i am still getting them ( Read more... ) -
rough day yesterday
i had the most horrible day yesterday and that was with work. and with everything else. well i am still having nightmares about my papa. i guess that can be expected. the other night i woke up uncontrollably crying. but the last dream i had was so weird. i dreamt that the national guard faked his death and they were on their way to bring him back ( Read more... ) -
the past three weeks....
well as some may know. i lost my papa on the 17th. i am not sure on how i am dealing with it. some say that i am dealing good and some say they are just waiting for me to break. i am not sure which one is the truth. i really do not know. when my papa died i was ok for about a minute. i cried and fainted, i remember that. but other than that. i know ( Read more... ) -
upset and sad and all that good stuff...
right now i am trying to figure out why i tell joanie certain things. i really am trying to figure it out. i told her about the ex situation. and all she did was ask me. question my actions. question everything and not understand. i do not know, i really do not know. i am upset by that. i guess i really am this bad type of person. but am i really ( Read more... )