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things just do not get better....
well this past week was another surprising thing. i had to go to the police station until six in the morning. di dnot get sleep. at all. all this shit will not stop. i went to the police station for witnessing a damn fight. a stupid fight. i have never saw a fight in my life. and a man got hit with a crow bar or some sort of metal type of thing. i ( Read more... ) -
all i got to ask......
is what the hell did i do to anyone. all i ever do is try to live my life the best that i know how. to be good. to be nice to people. and i still get screwed over in the end. one more bad thing had to happen to me this weekend. will it get any better. so far this month has just sucked up the storm. and all i see myself is going down and more down. ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
i cant understand anything in my life right now. i always thought of myself as this good person. but obviously not. i never could understand why i have always lost so much people in life. i have lost loves and i have lost friends and family. maybe it is just me. maybe i am just this horrible person. becuase right now when i really need someone i ( Read more... ) -
wow!!
this past week has been such a hard time for me. so hard. oh man. i never write in this thing unless i need to get some stuff out because well this is the only way i can get out some emotions. two things specifically happened this week. on sat the tenth my cousin passed away. the crazy thing is that he was going to turn 30 in august. he has two ( Read more... ) -
have not posted in a long time....
well here i am posting again. a lot has happened in the past couple of months. so much to say and so much change in my life. do not know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. but i finally know what it is like to be this adult. i have so much to share but no one to share it with. i have come to realize that life is just that. it is not great and it ( Read more... ) -
do not get to get on much....
wow so much still happening. i hate it b/c all it seems to be is bad news. bad things have been happening for the past two weeks starting with my grandpa and ending with my car. this sucks. i am tired of crying all the time. that is what i seem to be doing again. for the past few months all it seems to be is me crying. who knows. maybe i deserve it ( Read more... ) -
two steps...........
you know the past two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me. everytime i see myself pulling together and taking a step forward i always seem to take two steps back. i am going backwards more than forward. and i am not sure how to come back. people say that i am strong. actualy a lot of people say that i am. but i just do not feel it at ( Read more... ) -
friends among other things...
now that i have the computer i think i will take full advantage of it and just start talking about stuff that has been on my mind. i am so going to have to come to blu's house more often just to write stuff. i miss this ( Read more... ) -
random knocks and other things...
well to start off my journal today. a couple of nights ago at like 230 in the morning i got a knock on my door. a regular knock. it was a knock that someone would do if they were coming at a regular hour. but it scared me. like the one before did. a couple of weeks ago i got another knock on my door. but that time it sounded like someone was ( Read more... ) -
long time coming....
well i never post anymore... well b/c i have no computer at all. times like now i wish i did. i need to start writing again. if not on this then in a "journal of some sort". right now i am going through an emotional time. i just feel so alone. i think it is the most alone that i have ever felt. i even find myself crying. and i never cry. i even ( Read more... )