it's been a while. not much has happened. been good days, been bad. i think i'm just learning to flow with things better. not too good at it yet, but i can be depressed without making drastic moves..if ya know what i mean. i'm sick of dealing with people and i'm sick of them controlling my emotions, but i'm learning to go with it. there's something ( Read more... )

he is so wonderful. i can't even describe the way i feel about it. i got two letters today. he's coming home. a lot sooner than planned. i'm really upset, but glad at the same time. it's going to be good to talk to him whenever i want again. but his life, everything he's been wanting lately, just got flushed down the shitter. i think i'm more upset ( Read more... )

i hate my parents. i hate having to pick sides between them. i hate that neither one of them is satisfied with the way i think. i'm sick and tired of crying over the fucking money issue. i wish they could take it out on someone else. what is so hard about keeping me out of the issue? i asked for that a long time ago, but i've been hearing about it ( Read more... )

i miss him like crazy. i can't stop. i was doing pretty well until he called me this morning. he sounded so happy, and it made me really happy that he was. but he told me he would call me two hours ago, and he hasn't. it's killing me because i want to talk to him so badly. i've been crying my eyes out for the past hour because i can't stop thinking ( Read more... )

well well well...so much to say..so little energy. i didn't go to school today and i'm not going tomorrow either. takin a trip to utah to see the madre and i don't feel like being rushed and stressed out. plus i have way too much homework. i want a new kitty so badly. i just have to wait for the right one to come...i know it will ( Read more... )

so uh...yeah. today definitely sucked bad monkey ass. it was all going fine until i got done with honor band. then dad tells me that i cant go out because i have to babysit my little brother. annoying, but ok...whatever i'll deal with it. so i go out for coffee with my mom and get screamed at because i let her interfere with his life again. i don't ( Read more... )

blah. today sucks. i had the hardest test of my life. but luckily i will never have to endure the Chem II AP semester exam ever again. so he didn't leave. i spent all of tuesday night crying my eyes out, shaking, screaming, loving...all of my emotions were drained from my body that night. i went to school the next day with the worst headache, puffy ( Read more... )

happy birthday to me. it's my golden birthday. for the most part, it was really fun. it sucks that i have to go back to school tomorrow, but the semester is almost over. you leave really freakin soon. wednesday just keeps getting closer and closer. you're really excited to leave, which makes me really excited for you...but you know just as well as ( Read more... )

I tried to kill my pain ( Read more... )

i can't handle my world any more. i can't survive in this place that i've been placed. i can no longer hold on to nothing. i am lost and confused. i cannot do anything right, or so it seems. i try so hard to live my life the best that i can, and do what is best for my own well-being, without interfering into others'. i want so much to run away and ( Read more... )