And all that was left was a smelly purple stain on a white bed sheet.

I've had diarrhea for weeks! I'm slowly shrinking away. I'm such a skinny turd now. I'm weak, dizzy and possibly close to death. Whatever I eat or drink comes right back out. I've been to the local clinic butt the docs there can't find anything wrong with me. I'm just an old turd - go home and rot away - they tell me. I'm checking myself in to a ( Read more... )

Your Superhero Profile
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There are plenty of tornadoes to go around! Yesturday we even spawned a small turdnado here in Crapland! Shit flew everywhere! The funnel cloud formed over huge manure piles in Farmer Brownstain's field and then dropped to the piles and the air turned brown and stunk to high heaven. Crap circulated and splattered in all directions. One huge mound ( Read more... )

I finally have had enough of working at that greasy spoon, the Crapland Cafe. We were shut down yet again for health violations. Hard to believe I know! Just because the plumbing in the restroom burst and spilled into the kitchen area. A surge of poopy water then flowed out into the dining area. What's a few inches of contaminated water when you're ( Read more... )

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It's time to go visit my cousin, Crappy May, who lives out in the country about seven miles outside of Crapland. She lives in an outhouse behind a farmhouse behind a hog farm. You can imagine that fresh, clean country air she gets to breathe 24-7 ( Read more... )

You Are Crumble Poop Pie
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Your Outrageous Name is:
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Your Irish Name Is...


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