You're A Shitfaced Alcoholic
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Does anyone else have a used butt cork collection? I have a really nice one- all sizes, shapes, colors and smells of used butt corks. I like to take them out and enjoy each unique aroma! Sometimes I plug my nostrils with them. I like to suck on them too. They're definitely re-usable too. I almost had my eye put out by one that came flying out of a ( Read more... )

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde


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I'm going to pick dingleberries today. Hope I can pick enough for a quart. If I don't I'll have to pick belly button lint to make up for it.

I snorted out this huge bile-booger yesturday. I saved it and pressed it between the pages of a big heavy book. In a year or so I'll have a nice flat dried booger! I think I could sell them as 'Booger Chips'. Yeah- another money making scheme from yours spewly!

I gotta go take a dump!

Tomorrow I will be celebrating my Buttday! I and my two sister shits were born from the butt of a drunken bum on a leap year, Feb. 29th. Since Feb. only has 28 days this year we will celebrate tomorrow ( Read more... )

A Crap ( Read more... )

Won't you be my sack of crap?
I'll seal you up and leave no gap.
You'll sit and stink and rot away
I'll take you out on a rainy day
To whiff your rotten stinky smell
Until my nostrils start to swell.
And when I'm through with you my poo
I'll step upon you with my shoe.
A mess you'll make atop my floor
And you will be my poo no more.

I was contacted by the Federal Government and told to stop selling my Crapland Diet or I'd be fined and jailed. I agreed and put in my application for part time work at 'Mr. Rooter'. I really want to be a shit truck driver. When the Cafe opens back up I'll get back to cooking and serving shit. Right now I'm farting out undigested beans from the ( Read more... )