J update

[pylaydia]

 The situation with Mum's Personal Care Assistant (PCA) has deteriorated even further. I'm to the point that I can't even stay in the same room with the woman without fantasizing about violence. Long time readers should recognize this as a Very Bad Thing. Mum has admitted that she doesn't particularly like J but she is too 'chicken' to get her

Comments

[tanthe]

If she's not doing what she was hired to do, then that's nothing to do with you projecting or being a bully or anything.

Honestly, if she's not functioning in a manner that best serves your mother, then she needs to be replaced. No matter how "late in the game" it is. A person that needs supervision to do basic cleaning is kind of useless, and if she's frequently asking her appointments be moved around, then that doesn't make her very reliable either.

While I can see why you and your mother don't want to make life difficult for J, the point is is that your mother's health and your sanity come before tippy-toeing around J and her potentially fragile ego. Your first responsibility is to your mother and yourself, not someone so wholly unconnected to you.

It's still difficult to have to deal with this, and I have no real suggestions on how to deal with it, unfortunately. Did she come from an agency or something?

[pylaydia]

She did come from an agency and I've discussed with Mum the option of contacting her actual caseworker through there to at least get some conflict resolution going. She is still fairly resistant to complaining but I'll keep pushing gently.

.02$

[ladybanchee]

J is a twit. If you could get her replaced I would do so or at least report her incompetence. I have told you my impressions of the waist of flesh. I f you are wanting to avoid conflict as most of us all do, Let me speck with her. I have had a fairly crummy week and would love to put something down a well.

Re: .02$

[pylaydia]

Hopefully I will have Mum talked around by next Wednesday and all this drama will be a moot point =)

Re: .02$

[rodent2]

Friend, this really upsets me to hear! As a former caregiver If it would help I would be willing to talk with your Mum about her rights and that what her caregiver is doing is taking advantage of her. I would like to know more about the case worker and if its through the agency I am thinking of then perhaps I could help navigate the systems. Better yet if you and your Mum agree and it's not during my work hours I would be willing to come in and observe the caregiver. That way you would have a outside witness. Let me know if you are interested in either of these suggestions.

Miss you! I wanted to call for a visit this week but I have been really sick all week and don't want to expose your Mum. That is the last thing she needs right now!!

Re: .02$

[pylaydia]

It's not through SDS, if that's what you were thinking and Mum is well aware of her rights. Actually our abortive intake back in early December is what started raising red flags about J beyond her 'weird' behaviors. It's more a case of Mum not wanting to cause trouble as well as J 'begging' her not to get rid of her and invoking pity all the time.

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been struck by the illz. I was starting to wonder after you as we haven't caught up since before Christmas, which I hope was less 'special' than you had predicted.
*hugs*
Feel better soon please!