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meh comp is nakie... o.o she crashed and just got restored a few days ago. just got aim back. poor puter.
i feel like i'm playing house. when is grown-up-ness sposed to kick in? i guess a 'real' job would do that. huff. -
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indescision sucks. i want one - i know this but i can't let myself just... quit the other. i should give it a chance. Right? I find myself making all these plans but i don't understand why. is it because that's what i should be doing? hell, my whole life has been nothing but planning... maybe it's just instinct. maybe it doesn't mean ( Read more... ) -
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ONE MONTH FROM TODAY!
BITCHESSS!
:D
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and it hurts. he's an earth sign and i'm an air sign. i definately think he has a rising air or fire, though.
he saw me with my husband yesterday and it hurt me so much. i can only imagine what it did to him. i really think i love him but i don't think it would help if i told him.
i really think that i love him...
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When things finally start going right... they only feel wrong. what is up with that? am I just sabotaging myself? maybe I feel like I don't deserve to be happy since it's been such a long and intense sadness. i dunno.
i finally told K how i feel and he's responding great... better than i hoped. I'm working up to telling Brian that i don't ( Read more... ) -
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of all the things i've lost - i think i miss my virginity the most. lol -
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the oil danced upon the water as leaves upon the wind. their flat circles pushing and thrusting one another out of their space. as the water boils the begin to dance a faster beat. a tango - joining, fighting, and separating all so quickly. as in all things we come together but only for a short time destined to be alone. -
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how does one find courage? from where is it summoned?
i'm experiencing emotions that i do not recall ever having. fear mixed with joy... an anxious hope. i want to cry and laugh all at the same time... but i'm so afraid it will be alone.
things are going bad with my husband. resent is building. it's not all my fault, but i'm sure a lot of it ( Read more... )
