My dear barge-dwelling psychopaths, you'll be pleased to know that, not only had I, myself, graduated from this loathsome container of horror, boredom and partial amusement, alike, but had rehabilitated my own inmate in what is qutie possibly record time!

Please welcome your newest graduate... Warden Amber Sweet. A fine addition to your armoury, I ( Read more... )

[Private to McCoy:]
Dear Doctor Enterprise,

If Amber claims I'm torturing her brother, I'm not. No, really. I'm not. I'm simply undertaking a little... Subterfuge. He's safe and sound and quite unmolested, I assure you. Believe it or not, she's actually quite close to why she came here, in the first place ( Read more... )

I wonder if Amber's received her property back...

Because, if she hasn't, something will simply have to be done.

In this time of edicts, decrees and general administrative hilarity, I should perhaps make one of my own which might actually carry some weight.

The Q Continuum take a rather dim view of our affairs being interfered with. The ship's delightful operatic vulture (the divine Amber Sweet, in case you were wondering precisely which) happens to be mine ( Read more... )

In the beginning, there was light...

And there were also barge security protocols, which, when reverted to their usual state, allowed the great and mysterious Q (and friend, because I'm generous) to liberate you all from the Borg and their dastardly little implants.

And it was good.

Do try not to unleash a repeat performance on us, again, won't

Take a little advice from the Continuum, won't you?

The Borg are quite unlike anything you've faced before. They're not interested in making deals or political foreplay. Offer them gold and they'll simply tell you it's too soft a metal for the majority of their requirements. Offer them yourself... Ah, well, there's a bargain ( Read more... )

High Priestess Amber of the glorious Q... You are to make your way back to thy holy abode, whereupon you shall remain within, awaiting my divine blessing.

And it's to be locked.

Michelle! Ah, Michelle, Michelle... With a manner as adorable as any swamp hatchling, she won't have to snap off her date's arm, because he's... Well, do you know what? He's not been all that forthcoming about volunteering the name he should be most known for, but he's Russian and you know how those fellows can be ( Read more... )

Bored? Feeling a little under the romantic weather? Need to exchange body fluids for recreational purposes?

Then might I suggest, 'Q's Fabulous Relationship Arousal Counselling Service'! That's 'QFRACS', for short! With such a wealth of sexual variety, you can't possibly go wrong ( Read more... )

I rescue the helpless amongst you from incineration and don't get even a little thanks?

Oh yes, it's the barge. Of course I don't.

Amber, you may or may not have assisted in murdering someone. This may or may not lead to congratulations or a withering look of disappointment, depending on how truthful you are in your answer to me.