Tug on my defeat; wave it right in front of me, for all of them to see. Come on, make me believe that this isn’t worth it. That I am not the only person worth caring for. Jealously has strangled me, yes I am carefree but I am not the only one. I always do right; always make sure I’m not ruining a life. Nothing is enough. Maybe that is a sign; ( Read more... )

It’s the darkness one might say. The sun going down and the shadows are getting lost in the skies, suddenly dusk is upon us. I wish it wasn’t so. Tonight I am saddened in a bath of roses, wine red water, and the dim rays of the moonlight reflected on my reverie. Withdrawal: the sharp pain is ill denial in the pit of your stomach. Sometimes you ( Read more... )

And so the needle seeps through rough skin.

I knew I couldn’t win against the edge of the pin.

You win, you always win.

You’ll never know your way back in

Your finest temptation, your worst sin

All committed in the sickest way, no debt to be paid.

Your final request is all that has already been made.

You wish it on your soul that things are no close to ( Read more... )

Stiff.
Razor sharp maybe…
Screwed, more than nail.
It’s getting there baby.

Stiff, yet waiting to rot in rain made to rust.
Armor: that’s just my cover.
Duck: that’s just my possy.
Air: that is just my weakness.
Hope: You don’t belong there. You’ll just into mulch.
Rust rust rusty screws with bad attitudes.

But here’s a feather duster though for those ( Read more... )

Original, you try and you try to be original but absolutely everything from up and until now has already been written. Oh no…dead end, blank canvas on plain lined paper…headaches, and dehydration…it’s all been said before. Predictable, inevitable rock bottom…you know the place, you’ve read the words upon that crooked smile already sensing what ( Read more... )

Sound the alarm. Ring in the sirens. Dominance is back and she’s back with a vengeance.


( Read more... )

Dear "S", Knock knock, here it comes drama knocking once again. I'm still undecided on if I should answer. You see, I know I'm a negative bitch. You said it... But right after I did, so I guess there shouldn't be any surprises there. There is though and a whole lot of unresolved bullshit just waiting to hit the fucking fan. It's been up in the air ( Read more... )

My stomach is full; I hate this feeling. This is nausea, this is uneasiness, this is revulsion. Yet I’m still always hungry, it’s still questionable for what. I sit at the table speaking to end up finding myself being ignored. My mind is craving a plate served with patience and a side of grace. Waiter please, give me a round of piece of mind for ( Read more... )

If you want the honest truth, then I’ll give it to you: nothing makes sense anymore. Frequently you’ll catch me cracking a smile, singing a song while walking tall, closing my eyes to listen to sweet lullabies; oh the joy. Yet this happiness doesn’t change my depressive behavior, these rapid impulsive thoughts. You see, nothing corresponds to ( Read more... )

I miss the village of rock bottom. There was just always something about peeling back your skin that made sense to pain. You can read a million definitions of your disorder, but none of them make you feel quite the same as when you’re experiencing the situation. My understanding needs the self made chaos to survive within me. They’ll never know, ( Read more... )