Your music corresponds to the movement, to the place, to the picture. Subject: Paranoia. Problem: Not having one. Solution: Self made chaos. My eyes are bright red; amount of saliva in my mouth has reached a deathly dehydration limit. I want to feel ice cold water washing my eyes to white again; I want it to drown out the problems, make little ( Read more... )

It’s there, quickly noted right in the center folds of your diary, “Club 24 does have its punishments” which is right above the list that strictly goes against everything that I never want to be associated with again. I’m a video fast forwarding then paused. Weight goes up and down, drops in slow motion then the fast forward button is hit yet again ( Read more... )

I’ve got hundreds of scars but this one in my mind is the darkest of all. Dehydration; you son of a bitch! I guess you never realize what goes on when the lights are all turned off and I’ve learned….you don’t want to fucking know, take it from me ( Read more... )

Guilt seeps inside of me everyday, anxiety sits and squeezes out stomach pains. You are anger when the deep seas wash over me, coveting the brightness of sweet skies of morning light. It’s summer time, living harder than high tide sitting next to the ocean, my eyes raining an overcast of delight. Shaking when boiling suns make wincing children’s ( Read more... )

With a hair flip and wink Katie becomes alive through the reflecting glass. She keeps running her fingers through her hair, biting her lips, and tearing up with every sleepless yawn; you're just my guilty conscience. Regrets; they dissolve in your brain faster than my alka seltzer in water. Picture this; eyes an inch away from a full clear glass ( Read more... )

50 percent of the things I narrate in my head I actually write down. The other 50 percent is a good mixture of mangled thoughts while staring at the TV with my friends who are commenting on how fat playboy playmates are. Or made when I’m in the upstairs girl’s bathroom staring at the many mirrors, caved in ceilings, unflushed toilets and ripped out ( Read more... )

Writing used to be easier, I would just pick an interesting topic to complain about and perfect and then that was that. But now living to expectation is a bit stressful. I have that feeling that I want to express in my head, but not on the tip of my fingers. I’m just not ready for the best series yet. I have to process these chaotic thoughts to be ( Read more... )

I haven’t felt like this in a while. Like the lights are always off, like the noise is always static, like the world is all my own sunken deep illusion. Insomnia; you’re just a figment, hallucination, never awake and never asleep. Chain reaction is continuous. Can’t sleep, can’t eat, being has never been so easy. White dry chipped off ceiling walls ( Read more... )

Everyday it's the exact same thing. It’s the same shade of black. The same control lost. The same sheltered girl. Afraid of the people she doesn’t know. Dying for someone out there to notice, painting all the different colors, but all she sees is black. My foot’s asleep, the TVs on, my heart is beating fast; the music is giving birth to a character ( Read more... )

Anger; you’re just fuel, motivation, and drive. Follow the dotted line, these trends are sickening. I still do it anyway. Club 24 is in full effect 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I’ve lost the desire to chew anything other than gum and head rushes are enough to pass out in hot weather. Uncalled for dizziness occurs more often than ever. Haven’t ( Read more... )