maybe it was to learn how to love ( Read more... )

i still have a picture of us kissing on my phone. i told katie about how i thought i’d broken your heart. i have, i guess. she said broken hearts mend, and i said how they don’t. how mine didn’t. how it’s broken again and now i’ve taken you to it, too, and how since i brought you here i cannot bring you. how badly i wish i could. katie said that ( Read more... )

it’s may already. the month of april has once again sputtered out like coals. wind and rain. they come today to blow those sparks out and away and i guess i’m glad for that. i’m glad for the wind and the rain. the clouds were so beautiful this morning, and then my classes were wonderful, with affirmations about graduate school and with excitement ( Read more... )

that marie antionette movie is playing, and i wish i had a shirt with insane sleeves, and a tri-cornered hat. and time to watch this movie ( Read more... )

i’m pleased to announce i still don’t know what closure is. join me in excitedly cutting the ribbon on my brand new gateway to opensure. i am packing a survival bag and tying my shoes tight to set out on the next greatest adventure of my life ( Read more... )

it’s 12 am and i have to be up at 3 but i’m still writing. i think it’s sort of a failing gasp for a chronicle of these last hours that culminate in tomorrow, and fracture and dissipate like water after this ( Read more... )

in the morning when you throw up water ( Read more... )

i was born into the day today like a marble being dropped from the end of a winding shoot. i rolled over with the dream of katie asking me to edit a paper; i dropped, i was delivered and i fell over into bed where i woke up not believing that there was in fact a second day ( Read more... )

the first thing i did was listen to “love is everything”. i put some old numbers in my new phone. i called joseph. i hung up with joseph. i tried calling katie. i made a reservation on the shuttle for wednesday. i sorted some laundry and i walked down the stairs and told my dad. he told me about writing letters to his camp girlfriends, and breaking ( Read more... )

I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think ( Read more... )