i love you. i miss you. you were there when others werent. you were there to captivate me in your arms and kiss me on the forehead and tell me everything was going to be okay. what ever happened to that? im missing you so much i wish i could tell you all of this i wish so bad i could. but i cant lose my dignity. i cant lose my pride. you need to ( Read more... )

im out of the clozet, lo0o0olz0orz

that was amanda btw.

i hardly ever go on this god damn thing anymore. for some reason it feels better to me to let my emotions slide my hand across that fucking paper as im going insane inside my mind trying to find the words to better say it out of my mouth with. im crazy. im a nut job and there is no way to get me out of my old ways, i hear it every day and i think ( Read more... )

oh god well ive been very confused with these boys lately i dont know what to do. i have like three on my mind and one is very iffy to if he will stay on my mind for long. it was just a fuck. and now i probably have herpes or something. these two other boys...hmm one is a no but i can still look and be excited when i talk to him, and the other one ( Read more... )

wow. my aunt is going to die. they didnt come out and say it. but she has a blood clot near her heart now and the drain they put into her head is not working. so much this woman has been through just so she can live, and now we will find out it was worth nothing except suffering on this earth for just a bit longer. all we need right now is a ( Read more... )

blah life is so fucked up sometimes. my grandma's husband is dying right now, and i feel horrible because she said to my dad "i dont want to do this again". she doesnt want to witness him dying and going down the drain like she had to do with my grandpa, we are all so worried. and my aunt isnt getting better, the doctors said she isnt healing right ( Read more... )

right now im feeling pretty content with how things are going in my life besides the job part, hopefully ill get that call tomorrow which would make me the happiest person ever. ive been losing weight and keeping my body in shape,i just wish i didnt smoke as much as i did, ill smoke then ill notice the next day when i run i feel like dying. i ( Read more... )

blah im sick of being in this house for fucking up and doing stupid shit. i have ISS monday, so im going to draw everyone i love pretty pictures. my clothes finally came in the mail today and they are sexy. im working out alot and its bringing my mood up. my mom told me today it looks like a lost weight and usually shes the last one to compliment ( Read more... )

well today was quite an interesting day. i went to school and layed in the nurses office for two periods and she couldnt get intouch with my mom to let me go home on the 8th period bus so shes like go back to class. then i left on the bus anyway and my teacher is going to write me up. then my dad brought me to get my permit at the dmv in medford. i ( Read more... )

i never update this so for once im going to do it. the new livejournal homepage really pisses me off. anyways, today i realized how ive been feeling lately, ive been feeling a weird sense of paranoia about everyone and everything around me, i feel like my friends get annoied with me and that they dont want me around. sometimes i feel like nobody ( Read more... )