i have now called myself an artist three times, and have referred to "my art" even more. it is very strange, to push through connotation to denotation in reference to one's self. i have been thinking a lot about what i am creating and what i wish to continue to create, and how. i want to be strategic, but also open to possibility. i read all of ( Read more... )

grad school, work, friendships, life has been crazy lately. i am pretty much eternally exhausted, which i realize is my choosing... why do i want to do things in life? it would just be so much easier to be still ( Read more... )

today is shaping up to be really weird. i woke to my normal street sounds but with a massive volume of honking and mo money mo problems playing louder than i thought possible from a car sitting outside my apartment. there are always cars honking out on the street and exploding their sound systems, but this was strange to me. later i heard some kids ( Read more... )

last night i was frustrated and bored so i went for a walk. it was a beautiful evening and i was only harassed by one person. i met sarah outside of her apartment and we walked around for a bit before getting a drink (ok, 3) and sitting outside talking. she has been very open with me lately- ive been open with her and i think we both realized that ( Read more... )

today is my last day of work before vacation. i think this will be the longest break from work ive taken since i quit my job at steak escape in 2006, and my first real (not going to visit family) vacation since when?? spring break in college? either way, i will be off work until aug 4, so 19 days off.... amazing. completely necessary ( Read more... )

it is weird to be in a place where i want to be... things are going well and i fear that vocalizing anything good will make it bad. i feel the desire to write but my mind is blank of anything save the things i want or am anxious about... and if they dont happen or work out it won't be bad, just different which is ok ( Read more... )

also, i finished the first semester of grad school, yay

today is a day! i feel like being witty or swarmy or different somehow. i was talking about myself yesterday and who i think/suspect i am. which of course is still an utter mystery but i think ive got some things figured out. one is that, probably very importantly, i am easily swayed by my own opinion of myself. you know how you keep telling ( Read more... )

so, i got into grad school. i am happy about it, but i dont think it has really sunk in yet. i think that i should be a lot more excited about it than i feel right now ( Read more... )

i dont know why i cant write anything.