At what point did I start hating this?

Sometimes I worry that my best days left with you.

I'm somewhat bothered by this sadness. That has so cleverly crept upon me. Unwarranted and unabashed. And here I find myself in an attempt to abate the feeling. Yet, I've missed this. Your ghost and your visits. I remember the cold February air and its bitter coffee. The way I sat on that school bench. Detached and in the discomfort of my ( Read more... )

It's been some time. Since the sky looked as it did today. The shapes and figures. That I would admire with envious eyes. Were more apparent, more alive. Even after the sun had long left the day. And as I sit here in the way I always have. In the company of memories. I can feel it drifting away. The regrets. The sadness. I feel young ( Read more... )

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These words don't present themselves with such convenience anymore. Nor does the happiness or disappointment that often accompanies them. Yet there's comfort in the uncertainty. It hints of something in between that of love and hatred. And is often found in memories of pixel and ink. A feeling that I know, but hardly understand. Captured in ( Read more... )

I could hear the phone calls, the well wishes. The laughter and the hope. So much that it even fooled me. I could hear everyone and their drinks. But all I wanted was to hear her. I sat in this chair, phone pressed against ear. Waiting for her hello. I wished a happy new year. When really, I wished her here. I don't remember the words that ( Read more... )

I sat in the car. Listening to an ever so subtle sound. A certain loneliness, a certain beauty. Staring at red stoplights. Staring at nothing at all. I took paper and pen.

You think of the reasons why you're sorry and why certain people aren't a part of your life anymore and how you're pushing even more away. Because it makes you feel safe ( Read more... )

Sometimes I'll call her for no particular reason, but to hear her voice. Til four or five in the morning. I miss that.

I'm only five days away. And now for the first time in three years, there is a sense of acceptance. A sense of comfort that has been so foreign to me. I can feel the conflict within settle. I remember her sitting by my side, a friend, and telling me I had to be more than just fine. I didn't think it'd take a year to the day. If at all. But I ( Read more... )