in my opinion dreams can often be more heartbreaking than reality because it all goes away. i hope you're taking care of yourself and knowing that a bunch of people are here for you.
I've been having far too many of those heart-breaking dreams the past few nights. It's lovely while I'm in them, and then I wake up...nighttimes and mornings are the absolute worst.
I am sorry I have not had more advice for you or words of wisdom, I just feel other than saying I am sorry and that I am here for you is what I can do. I have never been in your situation so I feel that I cannot give adaquate advice.
How you feel is understandable though, so don't feel that you are any more "whiney" than anyone else would be.
Thank you, Mary. I can't ask more of you than you've given already. I do really wish I could see you all soon. I was so needing this weekend even before all this happened, and now... I still don't think I should come to Boone this weekend. Not for Abby's sake, but for the sakes of you, Mike, and Sam - I don't want to put you all in that kind of position. I appreciate your support immensely. I love you all so much.
Don't apologize! Post about it as much as you need to. I've posted about grieving and Charles and all the things that go along with it SO MUCH in the last two and a half years - and I've often felt like for sure it was an old topic, that everyone must be sick of me talking about it all the damn time, but who was I writing for? Myself, and my friends who love me.
This is a huge event in your life right now, and of course it's the main subject of your thoughts and feelings, and probably will be for a bit. Let it out. It's ok. We love you.
Oh, and also, it's really good to try and focus on finding the good things and the bits of growth that come out of all the pain and disbelief - and it sounds like you've got a start on this. I'm sure you know already, but I'll say it anyway, that finding good things doesn't negate or invalidate the pain. It helps give perspective and balance, and it looks like you're on the right track with that.
This is hard work you're doing; what your aunt said sounds good: keep growing.
I honestly cannot thank you enough, Claire, for helping me through these past few days. Your advice and understanding have been an immeasurable help. Just the validation of the seemingly simple idea that any and all feelings I have are not just ok, but good, and that any length these feelings take in running their course is perfectly normal, helps me to eliminate guilt almost entirely from the array of feelings I have. It's quite relieving, really, to know that my experience can be whatever it needs to be. While things are still incredibly painful, I am able to experience some moments relatively normally. So what I mean by all of that babble is thank you for being here for me. I'm sorry I was not so vocally there for you during the greater part of your grieving period; I was at such a loss for words with no experience to draw from. Know that I did think about you quite often. I will return the favor some day.
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How you feel is understandable though, so don't feel that you are any more "whiney" than anyone else would be.
We love you.
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This is a huge event in your life right now, and of course it's the main subject of your thoughts and feelings, and probably will be for a bit. Let it out. It's ok. We love you.
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This is hard work you're doing; what your aunt said sounds good: keep growing.
More love.
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So much love.
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