I just spent an unconscionable amount of time reading a dating blog from Atlanta. Ahh, the internets. I don't even remember how I got there, but it was pretty funny: those people are so different from me, but I feel like we'd get along if we ever met. I like getting that feeling. They were mostly black, I think, judging from the syntax and slang ( Read more... )

MY HOUSE HAS STILL NOT SOLD EVEN THOUGH I PERSONALLY SIGNED CLOSING PAPERS ON THURSDAY NOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER WANTS TO EXTEND THE CONTRACT TO JUNE SIXTEENTH I WANT TO KILL SOMEBODY NO NOT JUST ANYBODY OF COURSE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE ON VACATION (by the way Alabama is surprisingly beautiful) AND THIS SHIT POPS UP TEN OR ELEVEN TIMES A DAY AND MAKES ME ( Read more... )

and the slithy toves have just finished their grading for the year! YES!

I have successfully (by which I mean, with all my limbs intact) completed my first year of teaching!

Now two weeks, one of which will be spent in Alabama, and I'm back to work.

AND MY @)$($%*(#!)!@ HOUSE STILL HASN'T SOLD. Unbelievably incompetent people.

Alas, Lloyd Bentsen, alas ( Read more... )

So it's Wednesday and I have this sophomore class I teach on Wednesday. And I was sitting at the table looking around, realizing I was entirely surrounded by teenaged boys, and all of a sudden I got one of those flashes of Oh-My-God-This-Is-My-Life and this terrible, terrible urge to get up and run screaming from the room.

The definition of depressing:

It's midnight and you've played about a million games of internet backgammon, for fuck's sake, and you haven't won one single game. Not one!

On the other hand, I'm coming off the best Wednesday night in recorded history, so there's that. The universe obviously has to even itself out in my little corner of the world.

I HAVE HAD THIS FUCKING COUGH FOR FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT AND MY HEAD HURTS FROM COUGHING SO HARD AND EVERY TIME I BREATHE MY BREATH RATTLES IN THE BOTTOM OF MY LUNGS AND EVERY TIME I LAUGH I END UP DOUBLED OVER HACKING PAINFULLY AND UNSTOPPABLY FOR FIVE MINUTES AND EVERYBODY LOOKS AWAY AND PRETENDS THEY ARE NOT ANNOYED BUT REALLY THEY ARE. FUCK FUCK ( Read more... )

We need a new team of strategists. We need a platform. We need some candidates. We need to not run Hillary for President in 2008 or so help me God I'll vote Green. And we need to come up with a better slogan than "We can do better" because APPARENTLY WE CAN'T ( Read more... )

Question ( Read more... )

Oh, for the pre-psychotherapy days when you could just quietly be an alcoholic and nobody had a name for it, and therefore scorned it less ( Read more... )