When did this happen?

[raugiel]

When did I become the sort of person who holds her tongue? [ok, one situation, but I feel like the queen of losers over it]. Anybody got a set of balls to loan? I need a pair...

Comments

[enoughnever]

You can take one of mine, I think I use them too much(not literally). I seem to speak my mind TOO much, and way I'm to outgoing about it. I guess no one likes that either...

[raugiel]

Depends on where you are I guess.... Maybe it's too much time at work that's made me shut my trap...

I know we did not depart on the greatest of terms, but I am sorry that things have not been going your way lately. If you come up to Sea-Town, we should grab a beer or something. I've got the same phone # as always.

[enoughnever]

Hey, I don't think I've parted with anyone on good terms, but I still think about you. I still want to know you're doing well.
Might be moving back to the ol' stompin grounds of WA in a while, and we never did go for that beer, did we?
Rock on, dirty-big step sis, always rock on. METAL!!!

[raugiel]

Well, I was pretty dissapointed with everything that happened at the end there. At the time, it seemed so out of the blue I was wondering what the fuck was happening most of the time. Of course it's easy to figure out in retrospect. I'm sorry things aren't well with you and Ry. right now too.
Now we can go for as many beers as we want! But we won't be able to smoke in the bar... :( That still pisses me off. But I'm going to the Reservation to play a gig Friday, and we'll smoke all we like.
Rock Rock On! METAL!!!!!

Balls

[vudooyou]

what happened?

id loan you mine but they are all I got....

Re: Balls

[raugiel]

Eh, I am just stupid about talking to someone about my mushy feelings for him. It's one of those situations where what I already have with him is so good that I become paralized at the thought of losing it for the far-fetched hope of having something extra on top.

[raugiel]

He he, I do keep fun things like that in my closet... but I think it's more useful to take the balls around with you.

I just need to get out more. I'm sure that would help.

[jimthecat]

It's one of those situations where what I already have with him is so good that I become paralized at the thought of losing it for the far-fetched hope of having something extra on top.

This is the sort of mind set that will end you up like me, and I know you don't want that ;)

There is something to be said for rational, conscious risk aversion. Have you maximized your potential return on any given investment? Is it worth pushing for more at the risk of losing everything?

Good questions that you will answer for you. Your answers will define who you are.

Is the emperor wearing any clothes?

[raugiel]

Ah, you are right. Vic has been on my ass to just swallow my fear and get it all off my chest for over a year now. Of course, this is a quiet saga that's been going on in my head since high school. That might be part of why it's so hard, after swallowing it and swallowing it for so many years, due always to some sort of "very reasonable" circumstance.

Probably what I need to do is realize that my indended mush recipient is reasonable and intelligent (or there would be no desire to mush in the first place) and that if he doesn't share my feelings he'll probably just gracefully say so and things can go back to normal with a lot less angst on my part. That's really what I gotta do.

[thefamiliar]

I have none, not one pair, not one to loan. But if I did, I would give it to you.

[raugiel]

Awww!!! Yay!!!

Give a call or something and we can work out visit time. I am going out with Matt tonight, although Vic has the day off today. Anyway, we can find a good day, and you can always stay overnight if you want to have a really late night. :)