I have become what I have been fighting so hard to be.  My life as of now is whole.  I have a son and his name is Nicolas Alexander.  He is the son I lost long ago and now he is here with me and he is mine.  I love this little boy more than I have ever loved anything or anyone in this world.  I love him more than myself.  He is perfect.  Everything ( Read more... )

The face of blooming is left behind as seasons pass by ( Read more... )

I think that everyone has had a point in their lives where choices are something they do not want to have. Like the time you had to think about leaving your friends for your job, or join the military for security and leave behind your family, or letting go of someone you love but doesn't love you. Choices. I know I don't want to be alone in my ( Read more... )

It is interesting how putting yourself in a situation makes those thoughts and feelings be put in the back of your mind. So finally, I am receiving my green card and I have filled paper work for financial aid. Called the college and it seems that for the Surgical Tech School is full for the next two years, unless someone drops out. So I'm going ( Read more... )

To all that actually read this shit. Happy Thanksgiving. I hate holidays. I'm always alone or an outsider. But today I went to Chad's house and meet an entire family that was very fun and laid back. And most importantly they didn't care that I was an outsider and that I am different and out spoken. I loved every minute of hagging out with ( Read more... )

My brothers seem to be doing very well. I finally found the phone number to reach them. I'm so glad I miss them so much it kills me. My sister and I are talking again and we are forgiving each other for things that happen last year. My mom was so excited about the new hotel she didn't even realize I was crying on the phone. But I am glad she ( Read more... )

Damn haven't done this in a while. Lets see. Well my life as of the past few months has been interesting. I've gotten lots of good news. My parents are doing great in Brazil and they bought a house and land for the business. Construction has already began. They are quick. My sister is in South Carolina. She has a new house and is up for ( Read more... )

Strange that suddenly the world is moving and growing and changing without me. I look around and see the everyday things that should bring me some sort of emotion but I am just standing still. I don't talk to anyone anymore. I don't really care to. I have buried myself so deeply inside that I don't know how to keep living. The world, so far ( Read more... )

What is this emotion that rips you to so many different directions. Anger, fear, pain. I don't know which way I should go. I know I'm hurting. I know that everything that has happen in the past year is not something easy and simple to get over. But I cover it up in a pool of anger. My self-preservation. I just want to be happy God. I just ( Read more... )

Well the storm is over and it so happens that is was not bad. I don't have to work today, because electricity at work is out. he he. Day off. Ro was so funny, he called me before and after to make sure I was ok. I think he was more worried than I. My house is perfect, I only lost electricity for a few hours. Living without AC sucks. My mom ( Read more... )