Its been a very very long time since I've even come to this website. So I figure I should atleast post something here, in case there are people that still read this journal ( Read more... )

GRRRRR. I am so mad. I know that I shouldn't have every entry in this diary be a rant. And I honestly do try to write good things here to. But today as with last night I am just so angry. Is it me, do I have bi polar disorder in addition to my many other problems? Am I the one that has suddenly developed Anger Managment issues? I don't know. But ( Read more... )

 A Happy New Year is in order. Although I can honestly say that I am worried for the friends that I had here at LJ. It seems that no one is around anymore and while I hope that means they are busy in the happiness of being alive, I am more afraid that it is because they are busy in the harshness of life ( Read more... )

 Well, its been a very long time since I have written here. Life has been busy, and complicated. I guess I will just try to keep things to a nutshell and hit the highlight reel so to speak. Russell has basically exited my life. He got a "promotion" at work, and has NO time for me, apparently. Which I guess is ok since I can't be what he wants me to ( Read more... )

 So, I have put myself in this position where I have these two completely wonderful, and completely different guys that love me. Both want to be seriously committed for a long long time. I know that I have been a bit deceptive with one of them, and he knows nothing about the other. I know, bad monkey. But I honestly didn't see myself getting this ( Read more... )

A long time ago CB and I agreed that the only way a person was ever going to change, any person, was to want it. Until they truly want change themselves, for themselves, change will not occur. That said, I sometimes wonder if humans truly are capable of change or if we are set in stone in many respects from birth. A year ago, R and I were fairly ( Read more... )

OK, I went to the Three Days Grace, Flyleaf and RED concert last night with Alana. It was AWESOME! Alana had a lot of fun too because she moved a bit more center and down three rows when the security (which was tighter than I had ever seen at a concert) wasn't watching. Red was surprisingly good, to the point where I went out afterwards to buy the ( Read more... )

Oh this will be so easy. Weak. All of them. And the pawns around them, so blind. Giggle. It will be so fun.

I started to write a diary entry last night, however, I stopped to talk to RB on the phone, have to follow the instincts as I can't turn away from them at the moment, and ended up crashing right after that. This weekend just past was HIGHLY emotional for me. I don't know whether to say it was good or it was bad. Not too terribly long ago (we are ( Read more... )

Been spending a lot of time at OD lately. Not that I don't miss my friends here, but its just easier to write there for some reason.