instead of listening to his songs and crying when i think about him... i'm going to not cry and try to write some of my own songs. target the happiest thoughts. there's no reason so be sad.

i stop feeling sorry for myself ( Read more... )

things i must plan:

summer compilation album
enormous 2 floor b-day bash
lia sophia party
my first gig
4th of july in NY

this is going to be one radical summer.

no more crazy rachaels.

on my next day off i want to do nothing but sit on my porch, drink, and clean. i love the parts of my day off that i am at home.

i took a pregnancy test yesterday. it obviously read negative for there is no way on earth i'd be preggos because i havn't had sex since my last period... but i havn't gotten it yet. i don't even remember when the last time i did.. i think i've fucked my body up so much from my slightly manic session of relapse ( Read more... )

i like to chain smoke.

i wish i knew how to masturbate without feeling completely creepy and awkward before i even start.

okay.. angrier than i thought.. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY LAXITIVES.. THE BOX IS WHERE I KEPT IT BUT THE PILLS ARE NOT IN IT... WTF WTF WTF. i know that they're not taken, i'm sure i just put the somewhere else.. i think i threw them out in a fit of getting better.. but right now i NEED them. i'm not kidding about needing them.. i've fucked up my ( Read more... )

it's time to turn my life around ( Read more... )