Reading Twilight So You Don't Have To: Chapter Three
Chapter Two
Chapter Three: Phenomenon
Bella wakes up horrified to find the world covered in gorgeous ice and snow! Oh woe is her! But she's excited about school. Not for the stimulating learning (she's SO above these Forks rubes!) nor the new friends she's made (she's SO above these Forks rubes!), but because she wants to see Edward. "And that was very, very stupid."
Seriously, Bella. Go with that. The guy HATED YOUR GUTS, then disappeared, then reappeared and talks to you normally, and now you're smitten? WTF?
Oh, yeah. He has a "perfect face."
Okay, there needs to be a Twilight Drinking Game. Every time one of the Cullens is described as "perfect," take a drink. Two if it's Edward. You'll be drunk before the third chapter.
While driving to school, Bella contemplates why she's so wuved by all the boys here, while back home in Phoenix, notsomuch. And, of course, she is annoyed by all this attention because it isn't coming from Edward.
But then, fortune smiles upon her as she is almost hit by a car skidding on the icy roads and Edward saves her!!!111! But... he hadn't been standing near her? How did he get there so fast? ::cue dramatic music:: Dun dun dun!!!!
Honestly, this was the most boring car accident description I've ever read. I think it's the fact that Bella "was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once." There was too much detail, and told so analytically, it didn't feel like a crisis situation, and didn't engage me. This is one of those "feels like fanfic" moments. Even the mysterious stuff about how Edward could have saved her when she'd seen him far away at the beginning of the accident, and how he'd managed to dent one of the cars with his hands to keep it from hurting her falls flat.
Oh, and she "almost died of humiliation" when they put a neck brace on her because she hit her head. Reminds me of Hermione in Sorcerer's Stone when she was worried that they could get killed "Or worse--expelled!" Only without the irony that makes such a statement work.
Argh. And the kid who almost hit her is bending over backwards to apologize and she's annoyed. Not that he almost hit her, mind you. That he's being NICE to her. She really makes me grind my teeth.
Well, there's an impossibly handsome doctor, so this must be the infamous Dr. Cullen, because we know that if anyone in Forks is remotely interesting, they're a Cullen.
Bingo!
Aaaaaand... the entire school is in the waiting room, worried about Bella, and she is grateful... oh, wait. No she isn't. She's annoyed. Again. Because people are being NICE to her. But Edward is being a jerk, so him she likes.
Honey, you deserve each other.
Chapter Four
Quick Links:
Why I'm doing this | Preface & 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 16.2 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue |
Discussion Questions
Chapter Three: Phenomenon
Bella wakes up horrified to find the world covered in gorgeous ice and snow! Oh woe is her! But she's excited about school. Not for the stimulating learning (she's SO above these Forks rubes!) nor the new friends she's made (she's SO above these Forks rubes!), but because she wants to see Edward. "And that was very, very stupid."
Seriously, Bella. Go with that. The guy HATED YOUR GUTS, then disappeared, then reappeared and talks to you normally, and now you're smitten? WTF?
Oh, yeah. He has a "perfect face."
Okay, there needs to be a Twilight Drinking Game. Every time one of the Cullens is described as "perfect," take a drink. Two if it's Edward. You'll be drunk before the third chapter.
While driving to school, Bella contemplates why she's so wuved by all the boys here, while back home in Phoenix, notsomuch. And, of course, she is annoyed by all this attention because it isn't coming from Edward.
But then, fortune smiles upon her as she is almost hit by a car skidding on the icy roads and Edward saves her!!!111! But... he hadn't been standing near her? How did he get there so fast? ::cue dramatic music:: Dun dun dun!!!!
Honestly, this was the most boring car accident description I've ever read. I think it's the fact that Bella "was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once." There was too much detail, and told so analytically, it didn't feel like a crisis situation, and didn't engage me. This is one of those "feels like fanfic" moments. Even the mysterious stuff about how Edward could have saved her when she'd seen him far away at the beginning of the accident, and how he'd managed to dent one of the cars with his hands to keep it from hurting her falls flat.
Oh, and she "almost died of humiliation" when they put a neck brace on her because she hit her head. Reminds me of Hermione in Sorcerer's Stone when she was worried that they could get killed "Or worse--expelled!" Only without the irony that makes such a statement work.
Argh. And the kid who almost hit her is bending over backwards to apologize and she's annoyed. Not that he almost hit her, mind you. That he's being NICE to her. She really makes me grind my teeth.
Well, there's an impossibly handsome doctor, so this must be the infamous Dr. Cullen, because we know that if anyone in Forks is remotely interesting, they're a Cullen.
Bingo!
Aaaaaand... the entire school is in the waiting room, worried about Bella, and she is grateful... oh, wait. No she isn't. She's annoyed. Again. Because people are being NICE to her. But Edward is being a jerk, so him she likes.
Honey, you deserve each other.
Chapter Four
Quick Links:
Why I'm doing this | Preface & 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 16.2 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Epilogue |
Discussion Questions