-
(Untitled)
Wow so it's been three years since I have written in here. Reading back on old entries is kind of scary. Sometimes I feel myself reverting back to those thoughts. The only difference now is that I don't tell anyone. I have too much to lose to tell the truth about how I am really feeling. I don't know what to do with it either. I don't know ( Read more... ) -
Writer's Block: Words that you love and hate
My least favourite words are self mutilation. I hate it so much. Every now and then my case manager uses it just to piss me off. She likes it coz I always bite. Its fun really. I hate the word because it makes the self harm seem so brutal. I know that it is brutal. But it just makes it sounds so clinical and doesnt show emotion ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I have reconciled with my ex. Stupid really. I was talking to him on the phone yesterday and it didnt take long for the conversation to turn to sex. I shoudlnt be surprised really. He wouldnt have changed that quickly. I have told him that I dont want to be friends with benefits ever ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Dr Rofe increased my medication today. The prozac was increased by 20mg up to 40mg and the risperidone was increased up to 4mg at night. He also put me on low threshold for admission which apparently means that if I ring ACT he is going to admit me. Puts me off calling really. I dont want to go back into hospital so soon. Not after I was only ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I had a session with Zoe today. It was very confronting. There was a lot bought up ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I don't know what I am feeling really. it's difficult to pinpoint. Although I do feel like I have no energy, like it has been sucked from my body. I just wish that I could decipher this. This is making me tired ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I have these wierd feelings, these weird thoughts and I dont know what to do with them. I am scared of them, of what they might mean. I am scared of what they might bring to the surface. I have an appointment with a new psych on Thursday I think that I may bring it up with her. I am ashamed of the thoughts, of what I used to do. -
(Untitled)
8:45pm 1st March 2006 ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
It's been ages. Nothing has changed really. In fact it has probably gotten worse. The last 3-4 times that I have cut it has been deep enough to require stitches. Emotionally I am not coping. I have so many unanswered questions, but I dont even know waht the questions are ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm starting a new chapter, I'm supposed to be happy I'm not supposed to be crying at the drop of a hat. I nearly cried in the cafeteria today. The student services guy creeps out. I think he was looking down my shirt, when he talked to me at dinner ( Read more... )