Len was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds--AND IT BETTER BE THERE ( Read more... )

"To do is to be." - Descartes

"To be is to do." - Voltaire

"Do be do be do." - Frank Sinatra

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Q: How do you make sure that no one steals your bagel?

A. You put lox on it.

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Q. What do people from Texas call sushi?

A. Bait.

A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night. He awoke very ill and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper. The bellhop was gone a long time ( Read more... )

Did you hear the CEO of the Texas Instrument calculator division was recently detained by the FBI for alleged ties to terrorist activities ( Read more... )

There was a man in Florida who raised "see cows" or manatees. He soon had so many of them that he stopped giving them names and just assigned them letters of the alphabet. A, B, C, etc. He let them all swim free in the lagoon beside his house. Except for "U", which he kept in a special pen ( Read more... )

A turtle went to NY City and found himself in a bad neighborhood, where he was mugged by a gang of snails ( Read more... )

Q: Did you hear about the robbery in the laundry room?

A: Two clothespins held up a pair of pants.

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume ( Read more... )

I rarely make personal entries, its almost always jokes or swiped commentary (properly credited of course).

( Well, I have some things to say... )

I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks in the United States see their Northern neighbors:

( YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF. . . )