I was gonna say I felt kinda like Kate Bekinsale in Pearl Harbor. But I never saw more than that first thirty minutes And after reading the plot its comfoting to know that movies aren't real and that that won't be the story of my life. So I feel like Rachel Carpenter in the War on Terror. Last night Marcus calls and tells me he's leaving VERY soon ( Read more... )

Can't stay on long tonight. Never saw John while I was on but that doesn't say much. Kinda hoped to hear from him, but didn't. I don't blame him if he chose not to respond yet, but there's a great likelyhood that he just hasn't gotten it yet. Either way thinking back on it just makes me worry more. I want to be ok. I love him. I don't want to fight ( Read more... )

Nevermind that last entry. Things ended up bad with us all over again. Only John just evetually refused to speak to me then signed off. I was soo totaly pissed. But fine. Whatever. I sent him a really really not nice e-mail the second after he got off saying that if he didn't want to talk to me than just let me know and I'll see him at green ramp ( Read more... )

Got a reality kick in the face today. Thankyou to the anonymous girl in my PED class (Was Ashley her name?) I don't think she realizes what she did for me as I listened to her and helped her talk out some of her problems. I was all mad and upset before, but now... now I have to much too loose and not enough to gain to keep fighting. And as such ( Read more... )

[A] Age: 18 (Yes I'm younger than all of you and will be for a LONG time, shutup ( Read more... )

BLURBS AGAIN ( Read more... )

SAY ANYTHING. GOOD CHARLOTTE

Here I am, on
The phone again, and
Awkward silence, is
On the other end

I used to know the sound,
of a smile, in your voice.
But right now. (Right now.)
All I feel. (All I feel.)
Is the pain of the fighting, Starting up again.

All the things we talked about,
You know they stay on my mind.
On my mind.
All the ( Read more... )

So happy I could smile again, but the moment was fleeting. No one ever meets the expectations they project, but their friends sure do. Missed friendships, Forgotten affairs, Riddles in the dark miles away, but nothing last night except silence. Is following your own word to much to expect, have things really gotten so bad? If so, where was I when ( Read more... )

Talked to Chris tonight. I miss being friends him. He's the guy who taught me how enjoy being pointless by teaching me the profound principles of just driving around aimlessly. The guy who would always give me compliments even though I would pretend to not enjoy them. Chris had an amazing impact on my life... and I don't even think he knows it. I ( Read more... )

Well one very upset and therefore venting post later, a 12:30 pm convo with Niff, and a really great post from Matt... I'm starting to feel a little better about things. The venting just helped me release a lot of feelings. Niff helped me really underdstand what maybe was going on with the very significant other. And Matts post helped me gain ( Read more... )