i always get like this at night. i hate it. shit, i don't even know why i write in this damn thing. i think its cause i don't have anyone else to talk to. like really talk to. i want someone to want to know about me, to honestly want to know why i do things and to want to know me. am i that uninteresting? seriously. i sit here alone. i ( Read more... )

so my tickets for aussie came today. its actually happening! ahhh...i'm going to australia!!!:) the tickets are a friggin book...there's like 10 of them. but yeah, incredibly excited right now. the boredom is getting to me a bit. i just felt really blah last night cause i haven't done anything useful lately. i tried to work with tess earlier ( Read more... )

thats all i have left...it seems like so long, but then it doesn't, especially since i've been counting down since 80. its coming though. this is the long haul i think, not a whole lot to look forward to compared to leaving. i'm gonna go back to GR for a while, and i'm gonna visit my grandma and my aunt for a while i think, but yeah, i just ( Read more... )

well, i'm back in millington, and for quite a while too. i don't leave til feb 11th, so i'm gonna have to get used to being here. i feel really bad though, cause i seem to be in quite a mood and i don't know why. i have NO motivation to unpack things...even though i know i should. i really need to find things to do though...get out of the house ( Read more... )

its slightly disconcerting to know how easily i can pack my whole life into my car and just move it. this is the third time i've moved in the past 7 months. its amazing how i can just put it in my car and uproot my life like that. to be honest, i'm kinda looking forward to it. not the actual moving process, but getting away from GV for a while ( Read more... )

you guys have no idea what that meant to me...really...
thank you so much

so i applied for my student visa today. it was pretty exiciting i tell ya. its pretty much the last step and the last form i have to fill out, except for one little thing i have to send in...i'm done. oh, and other stupendous news, i got a $500 scholarship from australearn. yay for more money for me. good times. i officially have only 50 ( Read more... )

there used to be people who could tell when i'm feeling shitty. now no one does, or worse, if they do, they don't give a rats ass. i try to help people, i try to do something nice sometimes...shit ( Read more... )

well, here i am again. as much as i'm ashamed to admit, i have absolutely no desire to go back to grand valley. none. the alternative? millington. but do i want to be here either? i don't know. it was so nice to be home for a while, but...i don't know. things just seemed...odd. the only time i was really happy was when i was riding tess... ( Read more... )

home again for a while. its nice. i rode tess today...it was so good to ride again. i really miss it. i think about whats going to happen to her...if i should sell her. the thought of that really scares me and makes me want to cry, but i thought i could deal with it. but now that i remember how much i love it, it makes that decision that much ( Read more... )