i don't often think everyting is about me.  it's strange to me how many others do.  when a person makes a general statement, i don't verbalize my thoughts of how it applies to me.  such as if there's a message like i love you i don't really think that it's me the person loves.  why do others?

i've been thinking also that maybe...

i like to look back in time and remember exactly what was happening and how i was feeling.

the thing that sucks is the good stuff that no longer exists.

fuck bitches. and fuck you too.

now that i live in austin, i find there's all kinds of hot boys in san m. what the fuck.

my plan was to give a journal that i made.  now, i'm not so sure.  i'm scared.  this always happens to me though.

i shall erase my feelings, but this will not necessarily help me right now.  why did i do this?  what the fuck is wrong with me?

i'm hungry.

better than you.
better than the situations i put myself in.
strong.
justified.
hopeful.
kind.
beautiful.
deserving.
open.
not a slut.

such bullshit.  i don't care.  i won't care.  i'm going to get food.  fuck this life.  i'm getting a new one.  one where my best friend isn't a bitch.  one where she doesn't try to make me into her fucking girlfriend.  where she won't hurt my feelings.   fuck.

i'm a good person. why can't i find a good person to be good with me?

right now, i feel like there's no person to understand me. i guess i'm being melodramatic. but really i'm so sad. why does this happen? maybe if i wasn't nice. maybe if i didn't care. maybe if i wasn't so fucking stupid.

life can be so shitty. i fucking hate it. i want to go ( Read more... )

i want somebody who sees the pointlessness ( Read more... )

i will not be cocky, i will not be cocky, i will not be cocky. but i am so very happy. i can be such a fucking puss. a cry baby. a little dork.

but i did it and i suceeded. that makes good. i'm too excited though. it probably won't happen. i'm still excited. i talked to nick tonight. that was a little weird. i told him and he was caught off guard ( Read more... )

things did not go as planned, but that does not mean that it went badly.  i got a hug.  well, two.  i like her.  fuck.