yesterday was a "wow, this is an extremely shitty day." i chilled with melissa and serenaded some geese *lol* and they actually seemed to like it. maybe i'm going mental. got home, watched dogma, drank some smirnoff ice *yum* so the night ended better than it began ( Read more... )

i received a bouquet of flowers tonight out of the blue ~ it made my week!

on a side note, i hate today already and its barely begun - not one but two exams i am not prepared for. *sigh*

why do i let other's truths be my own?

today has been a crossroads of sorts. i feel that i have gotten older and and am evolving into someone a bit different. my thoughts are louder than my words lately. do i know what i am doing, most definitely. am i somewhat scared, of course. no surprise though - it was foreshadowed long ago. why can't i feel like i can fly all the time? christ, i ( Read more... )

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life has been pretty good and chill lately minus keeping up with school. it seems stable but it's scary as hell because i am half expecting an extreme low point that will completely incapacitate me, like the one 2 weeks ago. i am looking forward to drinking like a binger this weekend...is that bad? (rhetorical, i already know the answer). hopefully ( Read more... )

just talked to my one and only sari :) she made me feel very loved and connected. what luck that we were paired up freshman year ~ fate was watching out for both of us. *smiling yawn* must have my precious 3 and a half hours of sleep now.

felt pretty good earlier but i have seemed to returned to my sad comfort zone. i want to start painting soon, more for a therapeutic effect than an end result. la la la. i'll write some poetry to pass the time ( Read more... )

went to the boulder theater and saw a movie about ram dass tonight. for anyone who doesn't know who he is, ram dass was a Harvard professor turned LSD hippie turned spiritual guru. he talked a lot about how his stroke changed his life and made him realize more about himself. quite refreshing and inspiring. encourages me to still go to india to ( Read more... )

i am so beyond frustration that it has morphed into sadness and self-pity. my council doesn't do shit so i do it all and i do mean everything. i had a talk with someone about it and it brought up all these feelings i stamp out to make it through the week, the month, the year. i walked away, pretending to be rational and collected, but waves of ( Read more... )