the amber glow from the street lamps permeate my vision and i feel unable to express how it looks reflected in my eyes, what it evokes ( Read more... )

the warm sunny weather is so inviting and enticing. it's like heaven if there is such a thing. i am still debating what to do for spring break, summer, the rest of my life. i feel compelled to travel. on an intellectual and emotional level, i still feel that i am fulfilling others expectations of what i should be doing with my life. i need to feel ( Read more... )

i heard mr. rogers died today. there goes one of my more memorable childhood memories...

fuck my ex-friend. because of her tattling on my mental stability six weeks ago to our supervisor, i may lose everything. i never have been so betrayed in all my life. my biggest fear- that my depression will ruin my life - with my position, work, social life, and relationships is coming true. everything is in jeopardy. thanks a fucking lot. glad ( Read more... )

got some positive feedback from a couple of people today regarding my soapbox speech yesterday however when the clock struck midnight everything went to hell. the backlash began. blake came to talk AT me and complain how he's "hurt" which means justifying how he's right and perfect and i'm the cold, generalizing, judgmental bitch. he can always ( Read more... )

*She's been everybody else's girl ( Read more... )

*I felt so symbolic yesterday ( Read more... )

i guess the demons never really go away. i thought i finally pushed them into the far cobwebs of my consciousness for once and for all a few years back. then out of nowhere they resurge and come out to play, to tantalize. leaving only fragments. i feel. insignificant. haunted. ashamed.

could i bear the reality of my pain if it were unleashed?

just got home from chillin with some girlfriends. god i love being single and not having to feel guilty about doing what i damn well feel like doing. i love being free and able to come & go & go & go until i feel whole, or better enough to face another day. my freedom and independence are the reason i get up in the morning ( Read more... )

[This is the end result of so many meetings at late night diners with no one eating ( Read more... )