It's back ( Read more... )

So it is the next weekend. Seemed tht over the week Roger and Carrie kinda broke up. Roger is pretty messed up right now. She didn't want a relationship. I don't want this to be a reflection of what happens in my life.

I do not like Carrie. She can not add anything to our group of friends, only take away. I learned this after going over to Rogers house to hang out. This was on a Saturday. Friday andrew went on a hay ride, Roger took Carrie out to dinner. Kevin was at the beach with his girl, Matt I talked to and later found out that he went out with Sean. ( Read more... )

So Jessi's still in my mind. She symbolizes perfection to me especially since I don't see her enough to destroy that perception.
Roger's girl Carrie is an art major, a freshman, bisexual, and just broke up with her previous bf.
He said that the past 5 days have been absurd. He is obviously elated.
I am intersted to see how this will turn out.

The new major development is Carrie. Roger met her when he Scott and Matt did some sort of funtion/program. They are a couple now I guess, and that makes me sad/angry because I am selfish andhave not yet learned compassion. Roger has experienced sex before me. Why does this bother me, why can't I be happy for him? I think I answered my ( Read more... )

Today is the 1st aniversarry of 9/11. It has been a week since classes have started for me. One is Buddhism. There is change in life, so there will always be loss in one way or another. The goal is to reach Nirvana; to break free from Samsara. It seems to me that there is no better thing to strive for in your life that that of liberation. It ( Read more... )

My summer is wasting away. And I've only accomplished one goal, although I found another one, and ultimate goal. I look around and I wonder where are the people who are interesting, the people who are not at these parties I attend. I am 19 years old and I haven't experienced sex yet, not even a real passionate kiss. It doesn't really bother me ( Read more... )

Things in my life seem to be making me; telling me that i am more awakened. Tonight I went to where Abby lives on Benny st. It was not a good house I was really hot and the house was shittily made, construction-wise. It was a party of Kevin's 3rd floor of which I was a small part. I drove, so I wasn't going to drink much. Tom was there. ( Read more... )

It has been awhile since I have written in this book. I have been reading a lot of books at once. I suppose I am a Buddhist for real now. I truely believe in enlightenment. I thirst for the remedy to remove thirst. I'm driving when I want to, and when there is a car here for me to drive. I don't have a job. I got all the classes I wanted ( Read more... )

July 26th 2002
I got my license.