I sit here in my room, looking away from the window. The rain is pattering on my roof; it sounds like a thousand wash basins under a leaking ceiling. The humidity is keeping my paint from drying and me from applying the next aspect. Self portraiture seems to bring clarity. It's an excuse to concentrate on myself instead of others. My god brother, ( Read more... )

I had this dream last night. I waws on a perfectly wonderful vacation. Not everyone was happy. I think it was easter. People were angry about the types of eggs they were getting. One person didn't want a hollow egg, one didn't want one with grahm crackers in it. I just wanted to scream at everyone. There were two girls running around by some ( Read more... )

Sometimes linseed oil is the only comfort. When friends have said all they can one turns to inadement objects or sensations. Cuban cigars, salt water, saltfish with beans and rice, and linseed oil, not to meantion that musty sent of my Granny's old garage in Richardson. I have a desperate urge to assume the fetal position in a dry bathtub filled ( Read more... )

I keep trying to fall asleep though it is proving to be near impossible. My sisters are forever oppositional. I say I need sleep, they turn up the volume on the inane German television show about some fat people getting out of debt by eating expired food. The only real comfort at night is the omnipresent smell of orange blossoms and the occaisional ( Read more... )

Lately postmodernism has nearly consumed my consciousness. Perhaps this is because I’m become more aware of the multiple narratives of my live, or just maybe Michael Oliver has turned us all into postmodern minions. I’ve been painting constantly. I suppose I’m partially trying to escape my home reality. My sister Francis is convinced I’m retarded ( Read more... )

Humanism is really starting to get on my nerves. Sure it gave us democracy, secularism, scientific method and a whole myriad of other goodies, but writing a paper on it is just rehashing good history. It's not as if I accually have something productive that I was looking forward to do tonight. Here's the basic idea, humanism is kind of like a ( Read more... )

There are days where you can honestly ask yourself, "Am I part of some grand narrative? Am I a pawn?" I mentioned yesterday that my reckless endangerment charges were dropped. At that point I didn't know why; my father said he'd tell me today. Apparently the cop that pulled me over is dead. Before I say how, let me tell you that this was probably ( Read more... )

There’s a certain calm that comes with sitting around my room in my underwear. I’m still attempting to process all the excitement that was my birthday. I am a year older; hopefully a year wiser. School has become somewhat of an experiment in tolerance. I’m working on putting together my senior exhibition. The working question is “What influence did ( Read more... )

I guess I havn't written in a while, but it doesn't matter. I've been stressed to an unbelievable degree. It's finally been 2 years of being single. I'm pretty sure I'm psycologically, physically, or hormonally flawed in some way. That, or my school is practically a funny farm. I've been writing alot of admission essays for pre-college art programs ( Read more... )

I went to pick up Stevie and we hung out at his house for 30 minutes or so, just until his mom got there. The movie wasn't until 7:20 so we ate some dinner at Tuesdays or Fridays whatever, one of those days of the week resturants. He wouldn't let me pay for my ticket and when I tried to pay for dinner he took the money saying, "You know this is ( Read more... )