Please leave me a message here so I can get to know you. It is my pleasure to spread the Word Of God to the masses, so count yourselves lucky...no BLESSED to have been added to my friends list.
Oh Polly, where art thou?sctag1015September 11 2005, 02:02:48 UTC
Sister Polly, I pray that you haven't been seduced by the temptations of the devil! You missed the Monday dinner, Tuesday "Singing Saints" practice, the Wednsday afternoon "Scorch the Sin" BBQ, and the Friday morning 12am sermon! Not to mention, you left after the first service last Sunday, instead of staying through all three! Why, you haven't been in the church for nearly a week! I hope you have a good explanation for the pastor, and for Jesus, because otherwise there will probably be consequences. We all know what a fiery wrath Jesus can have!
Re: Oh Polly, where art thou?ripped_genesSeptember 12 2005, 23:27:46 UTC
Brother Andrew, I'm afraid Satan did ensnare me in his heathenous clutches. I tried to resist, but I succombed to my mononucleosis and the "Jew Disease" last week. Dr. Bumblebrandt, an instrument of the devil, forced me to stay home. I almost came to the BBQ, however my mother, an instrument of the devil, thought I was coughing up too much blood to leave the house. So I used my bloody vomit to give myself communion. It was the only penance I could think of, though I dare say it wasn't it enough.
I'll be in church this Sunday. I promise! I fear the wrath of the Holy Father and his Glorious Son, and I feel as though They have smitten me with these illnesses as punishment for not being pious. Today I told a Catholic and a Muslim that they're going to Hell if they don't stop following those godforsaken religions. Then I got a phonecall from BellSouth about harassment. Sinners!
But yes. I shall be back in church as soon as God feels as though I am able. Perhaps he'll let me regain the sight in my left eye as well.
Re: Oh Polly, where art thou?ripped_genesSeptember 14 2005, 15:43:00 UTC
He reclaimed pancakes from Satan. I am overjoyed. I've already put in an order for the booklet. Anything that helps to cut down on my risk for prostate cancer has GOT to be a gift from God. And coming from Pat Robertson, I KNOW this has to be straight from God. Thank you for the link, and praise God Almighty for your insight.
The Original Jesus's account has been suspended. I will continue on my search for you though. There are many imposters out there, souls that have given into the devil.
Comments 87
you have issues
Andrew
Reply
Reply
Reply
I'll be in church this Sunday. I promise! I fear the wrath of the Holy Father and his Glorious Son, and I feel as though They have smitten me with these illnesses as punishment for not being pious. Today I told a Catholic and a Muslim that they're going to Hell if they don't stop following those godforsaken religions. Then I got a phonecall from BellSouth about harassment. Sinners!
But yes. I shall be back in church as soon as God feels as though I am able. Perhaps he'll let me regain the sight in my left eye as well.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Why did you add me?
Reply
Reply
Reply
I will find Jesus for you. You will love it.
Reply
Still, could you please give me his LJ address? I'd like to lavish Him with even more of my adoration.
Reply
I will continue on my search for you though.
There are many imposters out there, souls that have given into the devil.
Reply
Leave a comment