She is so perfect. I found the perfect woman. It's just that she didn't find the perfect man.

Fuck me running. I feel as if I’ve made a career of becoming completely engulfed by depressions so dark that even the most remote African wilderness seems shiny and bright. I love to read and read stories of people doing great things or sharing about their classic jaguar given to them by their late grandfather senator Bob corruptinson. I get a ( Read more... )

Suicide is sadly looking like the way i leave this world. My father, grandfather, great grandfather, and great great grandfather all killed themselves. I don’t see me being any different. Once my mother passes away I’ll be left with no family on earth. Completely alone and therefore no one left to dissapoint. Your intelligent yet despondent ( Read more... )

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I’ve never heard a song that was written about me… until now

Somebody save me, me from myself
I've spent so long living in Hell
They say my lifestyle is bad for my health
It's the only thing that seems to help
All of this drinkin' and smokin' is hopeless
But feel like it's all that I need
Somethin' inside of me's broken
I hold on to anything that sets me ( Read more... )

Jesus Fucking Christ. I never knew that depression could be this painful. The past 3 years have been absolutely terrible. At some point in those 3 years I met another woman. Seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Anca. She was from Romania. She was funny, silly, and I thought she loved me. I really did. She honestly gave me a feeling like I had ( Read more... )

I'm an early riser. Aka I have no life. Life, as usual, has been interesting to say the least. I made a grand gesture of my suicidal ideation the Saturday before last. Woe is me. That led to me deciding to check myself into a treatment center to get help with my sometimes temperamental emotional and mental issues.
The following is a beautiful ( Read more... )

Right at this moment I am wishing that I wasn't alive. My own mother, knowing I'm struggling with thoughts like that, decided to got o her class reunion instead of talk to me when I reached out. My girlfriend, who's jealousy oftentimes beats me down decided to start a fight when I told her I wanted to get out of this town which makes me want to die ( Read more... )

It has been a long time since I have felt this. Almost a decade or more, but right now I feel the full force of this crushing weight on me. I feel detached from reality like I am floating through a movie scene where I dont really effect anything. Like I am a ghost observing the world. The only respite I have is when I go home in the evening to my ( Read more... )

I have not been asked to sign divorce papers yet but I know they are coming. Amy has completely turned off the switch that gives her compassion, love, decency, etc. Her life is great..No Rip to drag her down, freedom to go hang out with all the guys she wants, and doesnt have to put up with me.

I on the other hand am falling apart. What I truly ( Read more... )

For almost 37 years I said I would never get married. I met a woman so amazing that I had to eat my words because there was no way I could not marry her. She was strong, fun, confident, funny, and most of all she loved me like I loved her.

Somewhere along the line things changed. She became resentful and bitter. Some of it was my fault, but some ( Read more... )