this pisses me off

Mar 30, 2004 15:18

i have a friend who doesn't want to have kids. she's ( Read more... )

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geekmom March 30 2004, 12:35:04 UTC
Vasectomies are easier to reverse, so Drs are often more willing to do them. I know a guy my age who got one, and as far as I know, he didn't have any hassle to get it done.

Of course I also know a couple of gals locally who got tubals, so maybe the Drs here are just more accepting of the fact that some women know that they don't ever want to have children.

What a pain to have to deal with.

Does she react horribly to norplant? Cause she could get that and then get the tubal later.

*sigh* I'm sure the Drs have had some women come in young and make a rash decision, but isn't it their perogative to make rash decisions in the first place? Wouldn't it be better to get a tubal and regret it than get pregnant and regret it? Maybe it's just me.

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robiewankenobie March 30 2004, 12:40:56 UTC
to me it seems like a definite gender bias. it bothers me just as much as them tying my grandmother's tubes without her permission. they asked my grandfather what HE wanted to do...

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geekmom March 30 2004, 15:00:41 UTC
I agree - there is probably some gender bias going on there. However, the vasectomy is less complicated to do in the first place, easier to reverse, and doesn't lead to life-threatening ectopic pregnancies if they botch the reversal, so the overall health of the man isn't threatened by one if he changes his mind. I would think that it would be smarter to just tell her that, make sure a tubal is really what she wants, and then follow her wishes if it's what she chooses.

When my mom got hers done, my dad offered to go instead. My mom told him that maybe if something happened to her, he may want kids again, but she was sure she never wanted to be pregnant again. It may be the same way with this chick. She may think whatever comes, she knows she never wants to be pregnant. So be it. Her decision.

Oh, and I would be 50 kinds of angry if they ever put that decision in Harold's hands without consulting with me.

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grifyn March 30 2004, 12:54:05 UTC
Oh my god.

I mean, I can understand wanting to do the consultation bit, to make sure you know exactly what you're in for, but the "mutual decision" bit sounds like something that it's the woman's business to decide how/when she's going to handle, NOT any jurisdiction of the doctor.

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devi_pavarti March 30 2004, 12:55:13 UTC
One more example of limiting women's choices because of what the insurance companies will cover...disgusting

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sabinablue March 30 2004, 13:07:51 UTC
Hmph. I wonder if "significant others" have to be present at vasectomy consultations?

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stefuny March 30 2004, 13:32:58 UTC
I knew a girl several years ago who went through this issue when she was 29 --- it took her 2 years of therapy before her doctor's agreed to it. SHE KNEW she would not be able to carry a pregnancy due to some serious pelvic issues she had (back problems coupled with other things) and yet her doctos refused until they knew FOR SURE she wouldn't come back years later and what the thing reversed.

Insurance is a strange business and it's only an illustration of how Americans are being held hostage by big health companies who like to decide what is "appropriate" and what is not.....

What will my daughter's generation be facing? I shudder to think

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