My symptoms are getting much much worse. I hardly feel like I can function anymore most days of the week. I've somehow been keeping up with school, but with money problems and the inability to get a steady job because of this, the future looks bleak. My intestines feel as if they are strangling themselves, my chest feels as if my ribs are being ( Read more... )

I have suffered for more than three years now with an onslaught of undiagnosed symptoms. When I was a child I used to think that doctors were omniscient when it came to dealing with the body. If you were in pain the cause was swiftly discovered and treated. Unfortunately today I am all too aware of the reality of the world, and that fact that ( Read more... )

I need to find a way to not let everything go as soon as I start to feel better. It's as if as soon as my symptoms release me from their clutches I put it all in the back of my mind brushed under some memory of a rug I conjured up. I need to commit to whatever it is I need to get better. A therapist, a psychiatrist, a doctor, eating right, ( Read more... )

I love creation and our ability to execute it as humans. We are inventors, a species devoted to growing and changing for the sake of a better future ( Read more... )

I often think back to my junior year of high school as the best year of my life. It was after I was able to make my own real decisions, but before the responsibility of those decisions drove me insane. Everything back then seemed so perfect, despite all its imperfections. I just feel like I was more capable back then. Capable of coping, ( Read more... )

It's incredible what music can do to you. By just listening to one old melody you can remember countless moments that have slipped between the cracks of time as if they were currently happening. A lot of people say change is good, but why is that? Why do we become obsessed with growing up? I understand responsibilities and settings have to change, ( Read more... )

I can't help but question my own mortality more and more as time goes on and my mysterious symptoms persist and evolve. Sometimes I am sure I'm dying and I am terrified, other times I am extremely sad, and sometimes I am strangely accepting. I think if I had to face passing on I would be OK with it depending on a few circumstances ( Read more... )

I wonder what it feels like to have a song written about you or to write a song about someone. I can't imagine the feeling really, it must be awesome. Not awesome as in radical, but awesome in the real sense of the word. Having anything perfectly dedicated must be incredible... a song, a painting, a poem. I wish I could create something so touching ( Read more... )

The room was a beautiful serene white, just the way she liked it. The subtlest reflection could be seen on any given surface, not a spec of dust had been left. She wondered how long it would remain so perfectly docile, but before she could finish that wonder, the answer disappointingly presented itself ( Read more... )

Sometimes I find myself remembering things that never happened. Events, places or even people that have never existed, at least not to my knowledge. Sometimes I wonder if they are someone Else's memories that somehow got lost and found their way into my head. Most likely they aren't memories at all, just pieces of real memories and an overactive ( Read more... )