My health is majorly on the fritz again. It's hard to maintain a consistent attitude towards it, or anything for that matter, when it's constantly fluctuating. Old pains and new ones come and go and come again, leaving me tired and warn. The days in between pains are seldom many, making it difficult to accomplish anything. I find myself lying awake ( Read more... )

He paced around the dimly lit bedroom searching for a means to keep his mind occupied. Books lay discarded at the side of his bed in a messy pile, failed attempts. A lone lamp sit lit atop the small bookshelf who's top had become a makeshift nightstand cluttered with empty pill bottles and forgotten notes. Light seemed to be the only comfort to him ( Read more... )

It's been a while since I've used this as an actual journal, but because its easy and from lack of better means and shear laziness I'll use it this once, though I can't promise I won't again resort to nostalgic address in the future ( Read more... )

He opened the door and burst through sure he had finally found the source of the clues only to find an empty room. The literal dead end he reached doubled as a figurative one to his investigation ( Read more... )

He lay wide-eyed staring at the familiar spot on the ceiling, and as usual when his insomnia occurred, he pondered possible scenarios for its origin. Perhaps it was burned into the ceiling by the previous resident who too had frequent bouts with insomnia, their gaze piercing the painted ceiling after so many hours of concentrated gaze. Nights like ( Read more... )

He entered the door unsure of what he would find. Whatever it was, he was nearly certain it wouldn't be pleasant. The room was entirely off-white, from the painted concrete ceiling and walls down to the tile floor held in place between off-white grooves. The sight of the place was disgustingly bland. It was as if all color was absent not only in ( Read more... )

He awoke in a daze unsure of which reality he was coming into. It was becoming harder to differentiate between dream and consciousness. The memory of whichever he was coming from always seemed to dissipate almost immediately, only shreds clinging to portions of his brain that would not be discovered until summoned by a similar thought in the ( Read more... )

I wish I could go inside my head and figure myself out. I wish I could talk to myself and really understand what I was feeling or thinking. I just don't know myself anymore. I catch myself having conversations in my head with a person that used to be me, and the person that is the defeated me. I question them both about everything, but it's so hard ( Read more... )

I find myself again transformed into this parallel version of myself that resides within my physical anguish lurking to come and go as it sees fit. I am a coward unlike my counterpart, alone and scared of nearly everything. I need to find harmony and sync the two sides. I am sick of becoming this mindset, sick of the hopelessness and ( Read more... )

Gotta get out of this place for a while. I wish I could leave for a long while. I'm so pissed off at everything lately and I don't know why. All the things that are supposed to get you through the hard times are just adding to them. I'm sick of being the Michael Bluth of my life ( Read more... )