I'm really sick of Orlando. The people here just aren't for me. Even my friends I don't really have that great of a bond with. So really, whats the point? I have to look forward to going down south just to hang out with someone who is dependable to enjoy my company. People here just don't seem to get it. All the good qualities of friendship are ( Read more... )

I don't really like the idea of continuing to write in here, but I feel like writing tonight, so what the hell. Things have been... ok. Not bad, not amazing, but ok. I've felt pretty good actually. Relieved, more confident ( Read more... )

Another shitty night. Typical problems reemerge. Can't get my head straight. I don't feel much pain but the feeling of total discomfort is encasing. I had a long talk with my brother tonight about everything. I think I'm going to schedule a bunch of doctor's appointments this week and try to get every little thing that haunts my mind from getting ( Read more... )

I thought I was doing better. I've felt good since I've been in West Palm, but tonight I'm in rough shape again. I don't know why I keep letting this happen. All it takes is a little familiar pain and discomfort and I'm right back where I was, a mess of tears alone in an empty bed. I don't know why I can't control this. I hate how it can take total ( Read more... )

I realized tonight that maybe all of these problems that have developed in the past year, all these physical ailments and whatever else really is a result of depression and anxiety. I really need to get a hold of things, they have already gotten way out of hand. I'm just plain unhappy lately, and I think I have been for the past like 3 years now. I ( Read more... )

It's almost 8 am. I wish i was waking up right now instead of about to attempt to fall asleep, probably laying restless for another hour before I manage to accomplish my task. I want to fix things. Not just for me, but for everyone. I've come to doubt so many people, I've let depression and fear seep into my skin and all I touch is now contaminated ( Read more... )

My anxiety is really getting out of control. The stomach problems are one thing, but the anxiety they cause is truly what tears me apart. I used to be able to be so hopeful, so confident when it truly came down to it. Now I have truly come to doubt myself. I really don't know if I can pull through this at times, and the feeling of that is ( Read more... )

This pain is getting ridiculous. I can't just be left with nothing to concentrate on or it take controls of me. I can hardly focus on anything to even keep my mind from it. This shitty medicine is only making things worse. I need to sleep but I can't. A mix of usual insomnia and this feeling like i'm constantly about to throw up from someone ( Read more... )

I hope everyone is doing well. Honestly I think about it all the time. It's so strange how in reality we are all the same thing. We are all composed of the same elements and abilities (to a certain degree) yet how different we all become from one another. It's so strange how we differentiate ourselves from another person when we are so similar in ( Read more... )

No matter how normal I manage to maintain myself during the day. In the dead of the night there will be a random moment where it just hits me hard. My stomach begins to ache, my throat clenches and my chest fills with what I am told is anxiety. I must stay strong. If I can just get through this next week I'll have a week of vacation to relax ( Read more... )