ZETA: EPISODE 13
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EPISODE 13: SHUTTLE LAUNCH
(OKAY UM. The original date on this file is fucking 2/14/2010 but I never uploaded it... I am so sorry.)
We resume where our last episode did not leave off.
The narrator introduces us to one of our supervillains,
the Disproportionately Large Hand.
Title card!
Now we see some peaceful mountains and we hear a slow love ballad on the radio, and
wait you look awfully familiar, good sir.
More BLASTS FROM THE PAST we see Frau and the orphans!
Frau Kobayashi, that is!
Not that Frau's apparent marriage to his childhood friend Hayato stops Amuro from getting some.
So we see the inside of Amuro's GLORIOUS MANSION with all of its chandeliers and fine artwork, and
details, people!
A cropped photograph of Matilda and Amuro! With that bastard Hayato in between them. But ha! Too bad your wife is in Amuro's house now! Amuro still wins in the end!
Why look at this, Hayato, look at this happy family with your wife and kids and Amuro Ray.
Amuro's house is FULL OF SPIIIIIIIIES so they have to not talk about IMPORTANT THINGS.
BUT IT'S OKAY TO BE JUST A LITTLE SUBTLE WITH INNUENDO!
Shady Sleezebag Amuro is after your son next, Hayato. He will take everything from you.
In before the painfully hilarious irony of that statement.
After some domestic arguing we get back to the WAAAAAAR. Except not really.
Reccoa where are your aviator glasses get out just get out.
So now we see Hayato is running an organization called Karaba and Kai is being a sneaky little rat again and Quattro's being smug and after some putzing around we get to
the letter.
Captain Quattro, he is a CHAR_
I don't have anything witty to say here.
Quattro's shades can see into the lottery.
So Karaba is running around to launch an ANCIENT SPACE SHUTTLE (i.e. today's speace technology) when Hayato hands over Kai's CHAR_ letter to Quattro. Quattro denies everything, of course.
"Let's suppose I really was Char."
Damn it, Quattro, nobody believes you.
I mean DAMN WOULDN'T THAT BE SUCH A PLOT TWIST, IF QUATTRO WAS ACTUALLY CHAR?!?!!
Then Kamille shouts "OH YEAH CHAR'S A COWARD" and Char's like go back to bed Kamille.
Pretty much sums up everything about him.
Quattrozoom.
But Kamille is like DON'T YOU QUATTROZOOM AT ME I KNOW THAT'S REALLY A CHARZOOM and so we enter a magical girl sequence.
NEWTYPE RAGE MAKE-UP
IN THE NAME OF THE UNIVEEEEEEERSE
I
WILL
PUNISH
YOU
33
In this dramatic attack the horrible monster is defeated, releasing the pure heart trapped--
--behind aviator sunglasses!
HE IS STILL TOO YOUNG.
/tear
ENEMY QUATTRO has fainted! KAMILLE grows to level 2!
But enemies have appeared over the ocean, headed straight for them! Hayato wheezes and heaves for air as he slowly jogs across the hangar floor.
While Quattro assumes the position in front of Hyaku Shiki's codpiece.
Yeah that's really what's happening here.
And here is our fatty shuttle that Karaba must safely launch into space while getting shot at by five or so enemy mobile suits.
It worked out really well.
...wait.
Well good thing there's a second shuttle with Quattro's wingman Apolly in the pilot's seat!
Seriously, you guys? You're totally missing the shuttle.
Kamille, Quattro, and Roberto are having a bit of trouble since they're using space mobile suits on land, but at least their follies do not compare to the enemy, who
slip on fallen mobile suit heads.
THE MISTAKES OF OUR YOUTH.
LET THIS BE A LESSON TO US ALL: WATCH WHERE YOU STEP.
We now encounter "transformable mobile armor" and I will tell you that I hate such things. I HATE THEM, I TELL YOU.
After a hard battle against the damn thing, Roberto dramatically falls.
And then explodes after you're allowed two seconds of shock.
While back at the shuttle,
fellow wingmate Apolly watches him die.
BUT THIS IS NOT 00, PEOPLE, WHERE YOU STOP TO BAW OVER A LOST PILOT.
Apolly finishes the countdown, fighting back tears that only stream down his face, not wasting Roberto's sacrifice to get them into space. He fights through his anguish because people are depending on this.
BUT LET'S NOT EVEN DWELL ON THIS. IT'S TIME FOR A PIGGYBACK RIDE, KAMILLE.
WHAT.
YES, QUATTRO DEMANDS YOU CLIMB ON HIS SHOULDERS, SO YOU BETTER FUCKING GET TO IT.
PIGGY BACK RIDES DON'T WORK THAT WAY, GUYS...
Then they mock their own shuttle launch where Hyaku Shiki is the first fuel tank and Mk II is the shuttle. Pretty nifty, I suppose! Or maybe it was Quattro's "Get ready for maximum thrust!" that made it so, I don't know.
Then they do something you should always do when any kind of mecha has a stupid and improbably transformation sequence.
Shoot at it while it's changing form.
So Kamille does that and nails that stupid fucking mobile armor good.
Quattro is escaping and looks back at the battlefield, concerned that Kamille will not return in time. Kamille struggles to catch up. Can he make it?!
CAN HE MAKE IT?!?!
...!!!
Yeah he makes it, complete with a wistful and dreamy "Lieutenant Quattro...!" as the only words he can form.
Until their next scene.
Where Kamille is thanking Quattro and Quattro butters him up with compliments.
childcage: dude
childcage: look at this guy
childcage: in the background
lightning_queen: is it a space jogger
lightning_queen: fuck what is he doing
lightning_queen: "IS THAT CHAR IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE CHAR"
childcage: ldksflajglksydjgl;dsfh
lightning_queen: "no dumbass Char didn't wear sunglasses"
childcage: yes
lightning_queen: "oh yeah, you're right. can't be char"
Times like these, and times like with the actual dialogue that follows, makes me wish that I could MST/Riff this thing. But it really loses something if you can't experience the timing or if you have to explain the joke. Sigh. :(
Well, at least the shuttle made it to the Argama. Just look at that space ship gently take that shuttle into its loving arms.
As with the conclusion of every episode,
here is the earth and you should feel bad.
EPISODE 13: SHUTTLE LAUNCH
(OKAY UM. The original date on this file is fucking 2/14/2010 but I never uploaded it... I am so sorry.)
We resume where our last episode did not leave off.
The narrator introduces us to one of our supervillains,
the Disproportionately Large Hand.
Title card!
Now we see some peaceful mountains and we hear a slow love ballad on the radio, and
wait you look awfully familiar, good sir.
More BLASTS FROM THE PAST we see Frau and the orphans!
Frau Kobayashi, that is!
Not that Frau's apparent marriage to his childhood friend Hayato stops Amuro from getting some.
So we see the inside of Amuro's GLORIOUS MANSION with all of its chandeliers and fine artwork, and
details, people!
A cropped photograph of Matilda and Amuro! With that bastard Hayato in between them. But ha! Too bad your wife is in Amuro's house now! Amuro still wins in the end!
Why look at this, Hayato, look at this happy family with your wife and kids and Amuro Ray.
Amuro's house is FULL OF SPIIIIIIIIES so they have to not talk about IMPORTANT THINGS.
BUT IT'S OKAY TO BE JUST A LITTLE SUBTLE WITH INNUENDO!
Shady Sleezebag Amuro is after your son next, Hayato. He will take everything from you.
In before the painfully hilarious irony of that statement.
After some domestic arguing we get back to the WAAAAAAR. Except not really.
Reccoa where are your aviator glasses get out just get out.
So now we see Hayato is running an organization called Karaba and Kai is being a sneaky little rat again and Quattro's being smug and after some putzing around we get to
the letter.
Captain Quattro, he is a CHAR_
I don't have anything witty to say here.
Quattro's shades can see into the lottery.
So Karaba is running around to launch an ANCIENT SPACE SHUTTLE (i.e. today's speace technology) when Hayato hands over Kai's CHAR_ letter to Quattro. Quattro denies everything, of course.
"Let's suppose I really was Char."
Damn it, Quattro, nobody believes you.
I mean DAMN WOULDN'T THAT BE SUCH A PLOT TWIST, IF QUATTRO WAS ACTUALLY CHAR?!?!!
Then Kamille shouts "OH YEAH CHAR'S A COWARD" and Char's like go back to bed Kamille.
Pretty much sums up everything about him.
Quattrozoom.
But Kamille is like DON'T YOU QUATTROZOOM AT ME I KNOW THAT'S REALLY A CHARZOOM and so we enter a magical girl sequence.
NEWTYPE RAGE MAKE-UP
IN THE NAME OF THE UNIVEEEEEEERSE
I
WILL
PUNISH
YOU
33
In this dramatic attack the horrible monster is defeated, releasing the pure heart trapped--
--behind aviator sunglasses!
HE IS STILL TOO YOUNG.
/tear
ENEMY QUATTRO has fainted! KAMILLE grows to level 2!
But enemies have appeared over the ocean, headed straight for them! Hayato wheezes and heaves for air as he slowly jogs across the hangar floor.
While Quattro assumes the position in front of Hyaku Shiki's codpiece.
Yeah that's really what's happening here.
And here is our fatty shuttle that Karaba must safely launch into space while getting shot at by five or so enemy mobile suits.
It worked out really well.
...wait.
Well good thing there's a second shuttle with Quattro's wingman Apolly in the pilot's seat!
Seriously, you guys? You're totally missing the shuttle.
Kamille, Quattro, and Roberto are having a bit of trouble since they're using space mobile suits on land, but at least their follies do not compare to the enemy, who
slip on fallen mobile suit heads.
THE MISTAKES OF OUR YOUTH.
LET THIS BE A LESSON TO US ALL: WATCH WHERE YOU STEP.
We now encounter "transformable mobile armor" and I will tell you that I hate such things. I HATE THEM, I TELL YOU.
After a hard battle against the damn thing, Roberto dramatically falls.
And then explodes after you're allowed two seconds of shock.
While back at the shuttle,
fellow wingmate Apolly watches him die.
BUT THIS IS NOT 00, PEOPLE, WHERE YOU STOP TO BAW OVER A LOST PILOT.
Apolly finishes the countdown, fighting back tears that only stream down his face, not wasting Roberto's sacrifice to get them into space. He fights through his anguish because people are depending on this.
BUT LET'S NOT EVEN DWELL ON THIS. IT'S TIME FOR A PIGGYBACK RIDE, KAMILLE.
WHAT.
YES, QUATTRO DEMANDS YOU CLIMB ON HIS SHOULDERS, SO YOU BETTER FUCKING GET TO IT.
PIGGY BACK RIDES DON'T WORK THAT WAY, GUYS...
Then they mock their own shuttle launch where Hyaku Shiki is the first fuel tank and Mk II is the shuttle. Pretty nifty, I suppose! Or maybe it was Quattro's "Get ready for maximum thrust!" that made it so, I don't know.
Then they do something you should always do when any kind of mecha has a stupid and improbably transformation sequence.
Shoot at it while it's changing form.
So Kamille does that and nails that stupid fucking mobile armor good.
Quattro is escaping and looks back at the battlefield, concerned that Kamille will not return in time. Kamille struggles to catch up. Can he make it?!
CAN HE MAKE IT?!?!
...!!!
Yeah he makes it, complete with a wistful and dreamy "Lieutenant Quattro...!" as the only words he can form.
Until their next scene.
Where Kamille is thanking Quattro and Quattro butters him up with compliments.
childcage: dude
childcage: look at this guy
childcage: in the background
lightning_queen: is it a space jogger
lightning_queen: fuck what is he doing
lightning_queen: "IS THAT CHAR IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE CHAR"
childcage: ldksflajglksydjgl;dsfh
lightning_queen: "no dumbass Char didn't wear sunglasses"
childcage: yes
lightning_queen: "oh yeah, you're right. can't be char"
Times like these, and times like with the actual dialogue that follows, makes me wish that I could MST/Riff this thing. But it really loses something if you can't experience the timing or if you have to explain the joke. Sigh. :(
Well, at least the shuttle made it to the Argama. Just look at that space ship gently take that shuttle into its loving arms.
As with the conclusion of every episode,
here is the earth and you should feel bad.