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despair? boredom? what am I feeling and why?
If my life were a novel I would drop it in the trash for lack of excitement or detail. I've been reading all these mormon books because my paternal heritage is mormon. I could never accept mormonism; not even as a child could I accept that a man was needed to take me to the highest kingdom of heaven. I still don't believe it, and I never will. ( Read more... ) -
Relationship to Emma Hale Smith
I have been reading "Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith". To my surprise as I was reading, I glanced at Emma's pedigree and noted my own relatives directly in her bloodline...it looked familiar so I looked up the geneology. At that time there weren't very many white americans in the new world. How interesting that Aunt Joy never mentioned John and ( Read more... ) -
Summer Solstice thoughts
It's a beautiful day for the solstice. I know that from here on out the days get shorter, but I'm not going to worry about that. They also get HOTTER until maybe mid September ( Read more... ) -
Forked Pathways; Divine Guidance
So yesterday mom's family was here: Aunt Nan, Jess, Marian, and Jess's daughter, Jenna. It was really wonderful and just like old times, with everybody laughing and talking. I felt buffered, realizing that I really DID still have female family out there who will care when mom goes, about my welfare. I'm not so isolated as I usually think. ( Read more... ) -
yay marian and jess and auntie nan are coming!
I am happy today that my family is coming. I feel a quiet dismay however about mom. She rushes around doing things she doesn't need to rush around to do. I always meditate twenty minutes upstairs and she sits with me. It's the only time I feel she is really ever WITH me. Lately she won't hold still. Now that I know about her heart medication ( Read more... ) -
mom's heart medicine
My friend Pam was here the other day with a lady selling essential oils--without an invite and mom and I were both very annoyed because it took forever and mom's nurse from hospice came and had to wait. After they left Pam inadvertently pushed the send button on her phone and dialed here. I could hear the two of them talking and they were talking ( Read more... ) -
meditation: what it means to me after 25 years
I have been reading "The End of Time" by J Krishnamuti (Indian sage) and physicist David Bohm (the universe is holographic) today. It's a conversationally styled book, with each of them trying to explain what would be the end of time, and why we even have time. I've tried over and over to explain to friends and family that, when I meditate, I am ( Read more... ) -
letter to joann
Hi JoJo how's it going? It's fine here. The weather has been gorgeous and my garden is thriving. So nice after the crappy Spring last year. Yeah I know what you mean about being able to use your annual to make up your nine weeks, but if you'd done that even with all your time I don't think it would have quite made it, would it? And then you'd have ( Read more... ) -
Reaching For the Sky
Last night I was very tired and fell asleep almost immediately. I would have, that is, if I had not had something very strange happen again and again. I would just be falling asleep when I would become aware my arms were sticking right up, reaching to the ceiling. How odd that was! I pulled them back down and whoosh, just as I faded away, there ( Read more... ) -
ARGH. NO assistant NO how.
As far as Dragon NaturallySpeaking, a bigger piece of crap I have never seen. What's the point? I can spell, type around 140 wpm (fast enough that most word processors do that hoppity skip thing where they jump lines and you find yourself typing in the wrong paragraph.....I can read my own books into my own recorder and type them faster than DNS ( Read more... )