updates ( Read more... )

I've been trying to tell myself everything is ok right now, but it's hard to believe that when I look at the handful of pills I have to take everyday ( Read more... )

im just sick, of everything.

so last night i had a dream that i got into all of my classes. im pretty excited, because recently, he dreams ive been able to remember have either been just remembering the past or have been, dont judge me or call me crazy, kind of clues as to what is going to happen in the future. so im not going to worry about getting into the classes im ( Read more... )

the smoke encircling me ( Read more... )

i think i just cracked last night. i am sick of not being able to sit in my boyfriends arms because it hurts too much. i couldnt take the weight of his arm on my neck or the pressure of his fingers on my shoulder anymore, when he hugged me goodbye, i just started to cry. I SHOULDNT BE IN THIS MUCH PAIN. my back, neck and shoulders should not be ( Read more... )

So last night I decided to try something new with Nate, and it was very interesting. It took a few hours to show any effect, but once he convinced me to go on an adventure with him, everything began to become better. I wasn't in pain, and i was sitting against this beautiful tree surrounded by nature with a boy who I love holding my hand, and I ( Read more... )

"oh, poor little alyssa.

someday all your problems will go away."

maybe, but death will never come soon enough.

Come into my garden
To see all of my beauties
Before they collectively fall
To the weakness of immortality
O’ but we shall fall, too.
Frailty, thy name is woman, no!
Thy name is life,
Thy victim is life,
And we all have it,
And we all shall fall
Like the leaves, the rain,
Our hopes, our dreams: the children
And we
All
Fall
D
O
W
N

The health center just gave me Christmas colored condoms. This, obviously, means that the health center is anti-semitic and it should be protested against like Mel Gibson.

Who's with me?

Oh, and I have vague plans to chain myself to a tree in the quad, but I don't remember why... but is anyone with me on that, too?